Have hope
by Sweetylove30
Summary: When the Shadow crept over Lisbon's life, Jane tried to bring back the light in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her Life? Please, Read and Review
1. Prologue

**A/N****: hello dear readers. Here I am with a new story. It was written two years ago, in French. I wanted to translate it for a while but had no time to do it.**

**That story is very sad, but there will be Jisbon.**

**I hope you will like it.**

_Sweety_

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon's life, Jane tried to bring back the light in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Prologue**

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Lisbon was sitting on a chair. The doctor had left her for a few minutes and was back now. She was still in shock of what she had learned. So it was true, it really was happening and she could not do anything about it. She had always feared for years what every cop feared. From the day they put on the uniform. She was afraid. She knew that one day she would die. She always thought that it would be in the line of duty. This was totally unexpected. She did not know how to digest the news. Worse yet, she did not know how to tell her colleagues or even Jane. The poor man would have much difficulty to recover from her death. He had already lost so much and losing someone again would be very hard for him.

What was the alternative? Hide from it from him or deny the truth? She could not do that to him. She could not hide something this important. So she got up, took her things and thanked her doctor. Exiting the building she got in her car. She sat behind the wheel but did not start it. She dropped her head then closed her eyes. She was still unsure what should she should do? She did not know. This news was new and frightening. Teresa Lisbon always had control over her life. It was a rule that she had imposed on herself as a child. Always be in control was her mantra. Today things were different. Her body had decided to act according to its own will. Why was it happening to her? Why?

A tap on the glass took her out of her dark thoughts. She looked up to see the nurse who had been so kind to her. She rolled down the window with a smile on her lips.

- "Is there a problem?" Lisbon asked.

- "Oh no, but you forgot your phone." The nurse said handing it to her.

- "Oh, thank you." Lisbon said slightly embarrassed.

She rarely left her phone out of her grip. The nurse stood there with a thin smile on her lips. It was one of sympathy. It was another thing Teresa could not stand. It was the look of pity from the people around her. It would be the fake compassion due to her condition. She believed this would be the reaction she would get from those around her when the news was announced. Getting this same reaction would leave Lisbon bereft of the thing she deserved most of all, respect. She had decided. She would not say anything. Maybe a miracle would save her.

If that was not the case, then she would say it. It was not urgent yet. She still felt good. If you looked at her there was nothing showing that she was ill. Though she knew that was the rub.

Lisbon started her car and drove home. The day was far from over. She still had a lot to do. She had to clean her apartment. It was something she always did when she was anxious. She needed to establish control. The only thing she did not want was Jane coming to see her. She was terrified if Jane was near he would suspect something. He would see right away that something was wrong. She knew she could not hide anything from him. She knew full well this confrontation would happen eventually. She wished for it not to happen now, especially after what she had learned was still too raw in her mind.

Once she had arrived back home, she was surprise to still be alive. She drove on autopilot and had not paid much attention to the road. Once parked in front of the building, she quickly exited. Then she rushed to the safety of her apartment. She locked herself inside. Once the door closed, she slid to the floor and tears ran down her cheeks. All morning she had tried to be strong. She could no longer do it. The strong and courageous Teresa Lisbon was left to cry out all her tears.

After her breakdown, she got up then decided to clean herself up. She was a mess. She washed her face and noticed she had a pile of laundry. Grabbing the used wash cloth and towel she took the laundry to the machine. She was lucky she had one in her apt. Otherwise she would need to go to the Laundromat. She definitely would not want to do that. She could not yet be seen. She could breakdown at a moment notice. That she could not abide.

Once the clothes were in the machine she settled down to get to clean the rest of the apt. She got out her vacuum then wondered why was this bag getting clogged? Removing the full bag she placed a fresh one. She wondered how long has it been since she last cleaned. They have been rather busy at the CBI lately. Back to back to back cases had happened. She guessed cleaning one's apt took a back seat against bringing murders to justice. While she cleaned she noticed she had not once thought of the terrible news.

It seems that cleaning was one way not to think about it. She was forgetting what had happened. She noticed the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. That will not do she thought. She picked up the boxes to place in the closet. She passed a shelf in the room and something caught her eye. It was something she had kept well hidden. It was a frame containing a picture she loved with all her heart. She dropped the boxes on the floor and picked it up.

She handed it carefully while gazing at the man's face she so admired. He was the one she claimed was annoying. She had seen the worst of him being conceited, arrogant and selfish. True he was all that though, he was still the one that made her heart sing. It was a picture of Jane and her which caused all these swirling emotions. It had been taken a few months earlier during a group night out.

She took the picture out of the frame then searched for something. She quickly found it in another box. It was her old diary that she had kept since she was a child. She slipped the photo inside. There was a blank page so she began to write what she had in her heart. The words that flowed contained her fears, her joys and her love for Jane. He might never read these words.

However, she wanted to write them down so that one day someone would read them. Then they would know how much she loved him. She wanted these words to be remembered long after she was gone. It would before the disease would have won. She wanted to be remembered as a thinking person full of hopes and dreams. Not thought of someone who was in the throws of a terrible disease. She knew once you are sick people fail to see the person only the disease.

Lisbon took the book to her bedroom then secreted it in a place where she knew no one would find it easily. It would be a place where not even Jane with his marvelous powers of observation would find it. If he ever searched her home one day something Lisbon doubted he would ever do. Placing the picture in the diary she remembered the boxes still sitting in the front room. Plus the freshly washed clothing needed to be placed in the drier. She decided to wait on both since it was now night time. The day had gone so quickly. That she never noticed. She decided to go to bed. A good night's sleep would do her good. It would allow her to forget about her grief and fear. It would also allow her to forge the mask she would wear for the coming months. This mask she would use to protect everyone, especially Jane. He should never ever discover the truth.

Lisbon sat on her bed. Tears sprang to her cheeks once again when she had thought of her situation and Jane. She vowed she would never tell him. She hoped that he would never learn of her condition either. Though with Jane, that could be a futile hope. It would be like hoping the sun never set. Jane would find out but not from her and not yet.

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**TBC…**

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**A/N2**: **okay so, tell me, did you like it? I know you must be confuse right now but you will understand with the next chapter. That is, if you want me to continue. I will update as often as I can, but I'll be faster if I know that people really like it.**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N****: hi dear readers. As my first chapter was very short, here's another one, longer. I'm so glad you liked that first chapter and I hope it will be the same with the new one.**

**I wanted to let you know that that fic is not a death fic. **

**I also wanted to thanks those you left me a review: Marcia Santos, phnxgrl, guest, Guest, Jane Doe51, des, virihu and Jazz248.**

**I hope you will like chapter 1.**

_Sweety_

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 1**

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Lisbon got up after a good night sleep. She got dressed then headed to work as if this dark secret never happened. She arrived before everyone as usual. She was always the first in the office. She was relieved that she would not have to face immediately the looks and questions from her colleagues because of her absence from the previous day. The questioning looks she could handle with a 'none of your business it was personal' answer.

Most of them would respect her privacy but not Jane. He would know that answer would not satisfy him. Besides it was not a very good one either. Though, when it came off her lips he had been silent. That was what frightened Lisbon. If he was acting like that, there was a good chance that he would start digging in her life. He would pester her even more than he had done in the past. He would discover the truth that she was confident. Though, it was something that she absolutely did not want, at least not yet. She wanted to wait a little longer before releasing the bomb.

Lisbon put her bag on the couch and her jacket on the back of her seat as usual. She sat down behind her desk then turned on her computer. She consulted her emails with a distracted eye. She was not paying much attention. Her eyes fell on an email from her doctor that she opened hesitantly. She was afraid of what she would discover. It possibly could not be worse than what she had learnt the day before. Though, she was gripped in fear anyway and with trepidation she read the message. Her heart sank when she had finished. It was just more information on the treatment she would have to follow. It was the listing of the various appointments that she should need to go to in the coming months. It was a full schedule and very detailed.

She let her thoughts go back to her youth. It was at a time when she had seen her best friend die of this same horrible disease. She still remembered the pain she had felt when Sofia had told her the news. The anger she felt suffuse her. She had felt so angry against the world because that girl so sweet and kind. Yet she had to suffer.

Sofia had always been there for her. Her younger self had decided to do the same. She had been her rock. She had accompanied her to all her appointments. She watched helplessly as she had held her hand in difficult times. She had been her shoulder to cry on, the ear to listen and the arm for comfort. Once that final day had arrived, she had been a friend to accompany her, as difficult as it was to the bitter end. And today, Lisbon found herself in this same situation. Only this time she was alone.

How could she impose all this to her family while she had work so hard to support herself? How could she ask them to accompany her, to hold her hand and to comfort her? It was impossible. She could not do that to them. She would not impose such suffering and so much pain to anyone. She preferred to be alone in this adventure of which she already knew the outcome. She knew she would not survive.

The disease had gained too much ground for it to be otherwise. She could only blame herself. Her body had told her for a long time that something was wrong. She had been more tired than usual. But she had not listened. She had preferred not to think about it. She wanted to act as if all was well when she perfectly knew that this was not the case. Now she must pay the price for such foolishness. She should have listened to her body earlier. She should have paid more attention to her health and gone to the doctor when she had felt weaker.

She looked up when she heard noises in the bullpen and saw Cho come in. He sat at his desk without a word. He did not pay any attention to his boss even if he had seen her. This moment of kindness made Lisbon grateful. She would not talk to anyone, not yet. She still needed a moment to compose and chase away the pain. She did not want her colleagues to worry as they certainly would especially Van Pelt. The redhead was too sensitive. She always felt it when Lisbon was not doing well. It was something that the brunette had a hard time understanding. How could she know? How could she read her so well? Lisbon knew that if Grace suspected something, then it would be the same for Jane.

And speaking of the wolf, Jane came in the bullpen with a wide smile on his face. He bounded immediately toward her office. Lisbon's heart began to beat faster. Oh no, he should not come now, not yet. She was not ready to see him. But unfortunately for her, the door opened then her consultant laid down on the white couch. He pushed her bag out of the way then he looked up at her. His smile faded as he leaned on one elbow still staring at his boss with worried eyes.

- "Are you okay Lisbon?" He inquired.

- "I'm ... Perfectly well Jane," she replied in a low voice. "And you?"

- "Do not change the subject Lisbon. I can see that you are not well. You can tell me you know." He said with a very serious tone in his voice.

- "I'm fine and I have work to do" she said again being exasperated to cover her growing fear.

Jane already knew she thought. That was not good. I can not stall him for long.

- "No need to get excited Lisbon, I'm concerned, that's all," he whispered while looking down for a moment before looking at her straight in the eyes. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here, don't you ever forget it."

- "I ... thank you Jane, but I'm fine." Lisbon asserted much too strongly.

- "Okay, I'll leave you alone Lisbon." Jane said as he rose from the couch then walked to the door.

Before leaving, he sent one last look at the woman which he knew was uncomfortable, sad and angry. There was something wrong. She did not want to talk about it. He knew she would not say anything to anyone. He also knew that if he tried to force her that she would close herself off even more. He certainly did not want that. He would give her time. All the time she needed. He would be there when she would need him. One last smile and he exited leaving her alone at last. He closed the door sadly his good humor had vanished after he had seen her.

Jane went into the small kitchen to make tea. He needed to think about something else and only could think of one thing that might help. Tea had always been good choice when he was not well or when he felt sad or had an argument with Lisbon. What made him sadder was to see the woman so bereft herself. It was as if she had just received the worst news of her life. He did not know what it was? Though, he would eventually find out. He would not leave her alone to deal with whatever that bad news was.

**- oooo -**

Still alone in her office, Lisbon tried not to think about everything that happened to her by filling out all her overdue reports. It was now more than two hours and she was still working. No new cases had come and she began to regret it. She would have liked to have something to occupy her mind. It would have been something that could make her forget this bad news. But no, it was as if all the killers were on leave today. She really was out of luck. She would have done anything to be able to leave this place, to get out of the office and go into the field.

She observed her colleagues through the window. Seeing them smile and laugh. She envied them so much. She so wanted to be able to have fun, to watch Jane do magic tricks and forget all her problems just a few moments. She knew she could not. She could be overwhelmed quickly by this situation. She never knew when she would breakdown next. She had to keep herself away from them. She did not want to spoil their joy and good humor.

Her phone rang and she picked it up out of habit with her eyes not leaving her consultant whose smile warmed her heart.

- "Lisbon," she replied. "Yes ... well ... where did it happen?"

She cradled the receiver and a smile appeared on her lips. There was finally a case. Now she was able to get out of here. She got up and went to join her colleagues who were still gathered around Jane.

- "We have a case" she said. "…a murder in a small town south of Sacramento."

- "Oh good, a new case…" said Jane said enthusiastically.

- "Jane, you should not be happy over someone's death" growled Van Pelt.

- "But it's our job…Why should I not be happy?" asked Jane.

- "Enough playing Jane…We have work to do" interjected Lisbon. "Van Pelt, I want you to stay here and research Chloe Gibbs, her friends, family and job. Get me everything you can find."

- "On it boss…" She said turning to her computer.

- "Cho and Rigsby, you go to the crime scene. See what you can find on the victim." Lisbon ordered.

- "Got it," said Rigsby who followed Cho exiting the bullpen.

- "What do you have for me Lisbon?" Jane asked with anticipation.

- "You come with me to see Chloe's husband" she said as she walked toward the elevator with the Mentalist quickly on her heels.

**- oooo -**

The duo entered the elevator car it was empty other them. When the doors closed, Lisbon felt uncomfortable to be alone with her consultant. Would he ask her again about her health or would he leave her alone and simply do his job? She regretted taking Jane with her rather than Cho or Rigsby. Van Pelt also would have been better than him. The young woman would not dare ask her anything, unless it was about Jane.

Lisbon tried to think of something else to occupy her mind, like the new case. But it was an abrupt movement of the elevator that made her lose her balance to fall into Jane's arms. She had tried to catch herself but found nothing. It was Jane who came to her rescue. He had prevented her from falling on the floor. He did not let her go right away either. He noticed that she was pale and seemed really tired. Lisbon pulled away quickly before he could see how bad she really was. She turned her back to him but Jane put a hand on her shoulder and made her turn to him. So she came face to face to Jane and she lowered her head, refusing to meet his gaze. Then Jane placed his hand on her chin and made her raise her eyes.

- "What is wrong Lisbon?" he asked softly. "I know you are not doing well. Please tell me what's wrong."

- "Jane, I'm fine" she replied brusquely. "Please, stop with your questions."

- "Stop lying to me Lisbon and tell me the truth," he forced himself to calm his voice.

- "Jane, please, I don't want to talk about it now" Lisbon implored.

- "I know, but ... I know you and I don't like to see you weak, tired and sick." Jane persevered.

- "I'm not sick I'm ..." Lisbon said faltering to finish that sentence.

- "You're sick and there is no shame in it. What is it?" Jane asked.

Lisbon was silent, she would not tell him, not now, it was still too early. But with the insistence of Jane and his concern for her how could she keep silent in front of his sad eyes? She did not know if she could lie to him for long. It was much more difficult than she had imagined. She did not want to hurt him. However she did not want to burden him either. If he found out by himself, what would she do then? He would blame her that was for sure. Then she found the solution. She would tell him something just not the whole truth. It would be something that to could calm his anxiety. Lisbon turned back to him then took a deep breath before raising her eyes to him. She prayed that he wouldn't be judgmental that he would believe what she would say.

- "I felt sick last week, you remember?" She began and Jane nodded. "I went to see the doctor and he told me that I was a bit overworked."

- "Just a little…?" Jane said as he tried to lighten the mood.

- "Okay, a lot," she admitted. "Anyway, he advised me to rest and soon everything would be better soon."

- "So…Is there nothing more?" Jane asked suspecting she was not completely honest with him.

- "That's all." Lisbon replied knowing Jane knew she was lying.

She hoped Jane would not pursue this any longer that this answer would satisfy his curiosity for the moment. She knew it would not last long though. She felt bad for lying to him and looking him straight in the eye. She was afraid for a moment that he would see through her lies. But if that were the case, he did not let it be seen. He just gave her a soft smile and released the hand he had taken during their exchange. He seemed satisfied with her answer and she breathed with relief. They exited the elevator and went to the car.

**- oooo -**

In the car that led them to the crime scene, Cho and Rigsby also had questions about Lisbon. They both have noticed that their boss was behaving strangely. That she was more distant with them. She never came with them in the evening when they went out for a drink. In addition, she seemed more tired than usual and pale too. They did not like to see her like this. She was not the same as before. Rigsby turned to his colleague wanting to know what he thought about it.

- "Don't you think that Lisbon is no longer the same as before?" Rigsby asked

- "She's tired" Cho replied while concentrating on his driving.

- "But she does not go out with us anymore. She goes home early before she has finished all her reports. I find that weird. That is all." Wayne stated

- "You're right. She is not longer the same since her absence" he admitted.

- "I want to know what happened. I don't want her to be sick." Rigsby stated having a feeling that Lisbon was truly ill.

Cho thought about Rigsby's words he too wondered for a moment if she was not really sick. It was true that Lisbon was not the same and he too was worried about it. He decided to not show his concern. She was his boss and if she would not tell him he would respect her privacy. He decided to forget about Rigsby's words and what they represent for the moment then focus on the case.

They arrived quickly on the scene and began to work immediately. They found the body near the sheriff and began to ask him questions about the victim. They needed to know if anyone had seen or heard something. As usual no one knew anything. Chloe was found by a walker in the early morning who had contacted the police. They came immediately. After discovering the identity of the woman, the police had preferred to call the CBI. Chloe was the step daughter of a very good and very famous lawyer in town.

Nothing had been stolen since she was still wearing her jewelry and she still had her purse on her arm. None of her clothing was ripped or torn either which meant that she had not been sexually abused or at least not in appearance. They only needed the coroner's report to confirm but Cho already had a motive for the murder. He just wanted to find suspects. It had to be someone who had something against her. It seemed that this was a crime of passion.

The two officers stayed until forensics finished with the body. Chloe was taken to the morgue and then they returned to the office. They had everything they needed. They only needed to wait for the autopsy report to confirm his thoughts. Jane and Lisbon were still with Chloe's husband. He would have to wait until they return to find out more about her situation at home.

Once in the office, the two agents found Van Pelt still at her computer. She raised her head and smiled seeing them. She let them know that she got a call from Lisbon who told her what Chloe's husband had told them.

- "I have news on Chloe Gibbs. She had a suitor before her marriage, a Matthew Olsen." Van Pelt stated.

- "What do you have on him?" Cho asked.

- "He's an old friend from high school who did not really succeed in life. He's been arrested several times for armed robbery." Van Pelt read off her screen.

- "Not a brilliant life…" commented Rigsby.

- "He had been back in Chloe's life for a few months trying to woo her. She was married to Jordan Gibbs. From what I know he was very insistent. The boss told me that Chloe and her husband had to ask Chloe's stepfather for an injunction. He was barred to come within a mile." Van Pelt said.

- "He did not listen I guess…" said Rigsby while sitting behind his desk.

- "Not at all, according to the husband said he came back a week ago and had threatened them both if Chloe did not go with him." Van Pelt replied.

- "Where is this suspect now?" Cho asked.

- "No one has heard from him since that day." Van Pelt stated.

- "Well, keep looking and put out a BOLO on him." Cho ordered.

Van Pelt went back to work trying to trace Matthew Olsen. The rest of the team excluding Lisbon and Jane reread the preliminary scientific reports. The three agents knew that this case would be resolved quickly. Chloe had been killed by her former suitor who was now in hiding. They just have to find him and let Jane do the rest in interrogating him. They were sure he would wrangle a confession out of their suspect once caught. Jane was very good in getting murders to confess their crimes.

**- oooo -**

Jane and Lisbon were on the way back after speaking with Chloe Gibbs' husband Jordan. The man was devastated to learn of his wife's death. He was very cooperative and been really helpful in cracking this case.

Lisbon was more silent than usual on the way back in to the CBI. She had not said a word since they left the house. Thinking back Jane noticed it was actually when Jordan Gibbs had told them about his wife illness and her battle against it. He stated how happy they were to learn that all was over. She was finally cured. Then now this happened to crush his happiness. It had seemed to hurt Lisbon. Jane had seen her wiping a furtive tear. He had pretended to not see anything. He didn't want to embarrass her, not today.

Now they were both on the way toward the CBI and Lisbon had still not say a word. She merely fixed the road with her eyes. Her hands strongly gripped the steering wheel and refusing to meet Jane's eyes. He suspected that the subject of the disease was sensitive to her. Perhaps a family member or friend had once been sick or perhaps even herself. It must have affected her some way. He noticed it made Lisbon sad and angry to know that the woman had beaten it and not the person dear to her. He was trying to see all the possibilities that could explain her unusual behavior.

He did not know or believe that it was a member of her family. Then a friend…? He was convinced it was certainly that. Now Jane had a problem. How could he approach the subject without her closing herself off even more? That was the most difficult part. Jane knew Lisbon enough to know she would not speak easily. He would not forget about it. He did not want see her so sad and do nothing. He knew that talking would do her good. She may be reluctant at first. Eventually, she would realize that she would get better by doing it. She needs to relieve the fears and anger all bottled up inside her in a loving and caring environment.

- "You are very silent Lisbon" he said.

- "It is because I have nothing to say" she replied sharply.

- "You know…You don't have to be so mean. Especially when I have done nothing wrong this time" complained the Mentalist after being affected by the tone of her voice.

- "I'm sorry Jane I have a lot on my mind that is all. I'm so sorry I took it out on you." Lisbon apologized.

- "Apology accepted…Though I can see this hurts you badly…It would do you good to unburden yourself." Jane said.

Lisbon turned to him with a sweet and guilty look and it pained Jane. Something was really wrong and he would not let this go.

- "Look Lisbon…Pull over…We can talk…You need to let it out before we have a wreck." Jane implored.

Lisbon realized Jane was right she was driving erratically. She pulled over after a slight hesitation to his astonishment. Lisbon was never that accommodating. Once on the side of the road and the car came to a complete stop Jane placed his hand on her shoulder.

- "Tell me everything Lisbon" he whispered moving his hand down her arm as if he was petting her.

- "It began when Mr. Gibbs spoke of his wife's illness ... it reminded me of my friend Sofia" she began, "I was fifteen at the time when she got sick."

- "She did not get better?" Jane asked searching Lisbon's eyes.

- "No, she died only a few months after being diagnosed" she admitted.

- "I'm sorry Lisbon." Jane said wrapping his arm around her shoulder and drew her near.

- "I stayed with her until the end. I held her hand until the last moment and her last breath. She was my best friend…my only friend." Lisbon said as she began to cry on Jane's shoulder.

Jane comforted her as much as he could inside the cramped car.

Lisbon shed a few tears, but did not even hide it. It hurt too much to think about Sofia. She had suffered as had Chloe Gibbs. This woman had suffered from a disease then won the battle and someone had taken her life. Why life was so unfair? Why were good people always the ones to suffer more than others? Why should she be sick when she had not really made her life?

She raised her head off of Jane's chest to look at him. He had been silent and she saw that he was on the edge of tears too. She did not like to be this weak. This time everything had gone wrong and she could not stop crying. It was no matter that Jane could see her cry. He had already seen her in such a state. He had not judged her at that time and she knew he would not do it today.

Jane felt unprepared and did not know what to do for a moment. Then he put his arms around Lisbon's waist and squeezed her tighter against him. When he did this simple act of kindness Lisbon began crying even harder. He buried his nose in her hair while inhaling her scent. The fact that she had spoken to him so easily about this time of her life could only mean one thing. Lisbon had problems. She would never open up to him if she did not. Now she was in his arms, crying and he did not know how to comfort her. He knew there was more, but he would not push her today. She needed a little more time before talking to him, because she would, he knew it.

After crying out Lisbon looked up at the Mentalist. She seemed confused to have broken down in front of him. She saw in Jane's eyes not pity but understanding that reassured her. He had not judged or said anything to her. He just offered her a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and arms to console. It was just the same as she had done to Sofia. And at that moment, she blamed herself to have misled him earlier. She had chosen not to tell him the whole truth. She felt Jane's hand tenderly on her cheek as he dried her tears and she let him do it while blushing slightly. Once he knew Lisbon was back under control he took his place on his seat. The moment of weakness had passed and she knew he would not ask her any more questions today.

- "Let's now continue our journey" he said with a smile.

She drove away as if nothing had happened being very grateful for Jane being there for her. Though, she probably did not deserve his kindness. She loved that he had offered it anyway.

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**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: that was it. Let me know what you thought of it and I'll try my best to update soon.**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N****: hi guys, sorry for the delay. I was a bit busy. So, here's chapter 2. I really hope you will like it.**

_Sweety_

* * *

_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 2**

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- "Lisbon, Lisbon wake up" Jane whispered in Lisbon's ear.

Lisbon eyelids fluttered open but she closed her eyes again blinded by the light. She opened them to fall on Jane's face and his anxious eyes which startled her. The Mentalist stepped back. He did not want to put her into a more difficult situation already more uncomfortable than she liked or wanted. Lisbon did not really know what happened. Where she was? Why was Jane waking her up? She looked around to see that she was in her office lying on her couch. Jane was sitting on the floor looking at her.

- "What time is it?" she asked.

- "It's almost eleven and I think you should go home to sleep" replied the man.

- "So late…Why are you still here?" Lisbon asked still sleepy.

- "I was going to leave but I saw that there was still light in here. I found you asleep and I thought you should also go to sleep in your own bed. That is why I awoke you." Jane stated. Of course if I left you here you would have slept the night in your office. That would never do…I doubt you even have a change of clothes.

Jane was right. She had taken her other change of clothes home to wash and had not replaced them. He sure knew much about my habits Lisbon thought.

- "Thanks Jane…It's true…I'm tired, I think I'll go home now." Lisbon rose still a bit unsteady on her feet.

Jane noticed she was about to topple so he stuck out his hand to steady her. Jane could almost feel the bones in her arms. She is very ill he thought.

- "You want me to drive you home? Since you can barely stand?" proposed Jane.

- "No thank you, but it's nice of you to ask" she said as she smiled as Jane let go.

- "Are you really sure? It would be no bother." Jane said smiling back.

- "I'm sure Jane if you drove me home how would I get my car? I could not impose on you to drive me to work too. No I'm fine I was just a bit dizzy getting up that is all." Lisbon said.

- "Ok Lisbon then I will walk you out." Jane said.

Jane watched her take her jacket, her purse and heading out the door. He followed her always looking for another chance to become her knight in shining armor. As he watched she seemed really tired. It annoyed him most that she stubbornly refused to tell him anything. She will not keep him out to what was going on with her health.

The Mentalist did not like to see his friend in that state. She usually was so strong. At this point, she was not even able to take part in investigation. She spent most of her time locked in her office with the blinds lowered. He did not like that at all but what could he do? She had not talked to him. Since, their little chat in the car a month ago.

As they walked Jane observed how Lisbon walked with uncertain legs and slightly trembling. Her shoulders were hunched. She seemed to be suffering but he did not know from what. She was thinner than before. He knew that by the grasping of her arm to steady her. He could almost see the bones in her cheeks, her fingers so thin. She also lost color and her hair was dull.

It was more than just overwork as she told him before in the car a month ago. It was much more. She was sick. He could see that. However, he still did not know from what ailment she was suffering. He wanted so much to help, to relieve and to support her. She refused to engage him. It was so bad that she would not even be alone in the same room with him if she had a choice.

Lisbon entered her car and drove away. Jane sat in his car thinking about what had transpired. While he sat there he decided he had to start his own investigation. Her destructive behavior has to stop. The only way to do that was with more information. Of course she would not like it. That is how Lisbon is but he could no longer stand idly by watching her destroy herself.

He would start tomorrow. Tonight he needed to rest and relax a little. Their latest case had not been easy case. It was about a little girl found dead in her garden by her little brother. It had been an accident. It was about a simple argument with her older brother who had hit on her head a little too hard. The family wanted to hide it to protect their son. The truth came out and now the family had lost both children. These cases were always difficult. Yet, they still had to be solved though.

Normally he spent his nights in the attic. It was beginning to be every night. He wanted to be there in the morning when Lisbon came. He always wanted to be present to make her morning coffee. Though, he noticed that she did not even touch it. He said nothing and continued to do it anyway, just to see that little smile she reserved for him every time. It was always true smile and that was good. He knew it would be the only one of that day.

Tonight however, he started his car. The attic was good for some things but not to formulate a plan. For that he needed to go somewhere he could think without being reminded of her. Though, thoughts of her rarely left his mind lately. He entered his hotel room it was clean. A much more conducive atmosphere he thought. He immediately sat down on his bed without even bothering to get rid of his jacket. He slipped off his shoes lay back and fell immediately asleep.

**- oooo -**

Lisbon got home on autopilot opened her door then went to her room totally exhausted. She dropped on her bed in much pain. Lately it had become increasingly difficult to continue. She continued to struggle because she would not give up her work yet. Her treatment began to make some improvement according to her doctor. It was hard to believe. She was more tired. She could no longer eat or even drink without nausea. She knew it was only secondary effects. They would disappear when her body started overcoming this illness. Though, she could not take it anymore.

She heard a knock on the door. She tried to rise but immediately fell back on the bed. If she was unable to go open the door her visitor would come in and go up to see her. The door opened and she smiled at her every night time visitor. This visitor knew exactly what to do. Lisbon saw her visitor enter with a smile on her face and carrying a plastic bag.

- "Come in Grace," Lisbon said to her younger friend who stepped into the room.

- "You just got home?" wondered the redhead while laying the bag on the table.

- "I was sleeping on my couch and it was Jane who woke me up" she said.

- "Oh, and, did he asked you?" inquired Van Pelt.

- "No, since we discussed it a month ago, he no longer asked me anything. That fact alone has surprised me a bit." Lisbon said. "However, he knows I'm ill. He grabbed my arm to steady me. I know he has observed the changes."

- "I do not know why you do not tell him? He cares for you. You already know that though" explained Grace as she offered Lisbon's medication to her who took it with a smile. "He cares about you. Even if he says nothing"

-. "Grace we have had this discussion before…" Lisbon warned.

- "Yes we have…I still will disagree with your reasoning. Jane deserves to know." Grace said.

- "Grace it is bad enough I burden you with my illness. I just don't want him to be burdened too. I appreciate your help though." Lisbon said. I'm going to die and I don't want him to be attached to me and suffer from my death."

Grace was shocked. Lisbon sounded so final that the illness was winning. It was wrong on so many levels.

- "Teresa if you had not noticed he is attached to you. You with holding this information would be considered cruel. I never thought of you as cruel Teresa." Grace quietly said. "If you are to pass why not let him comfort you? It would be worse for him to find out afterward that he could not have his closure. He did not get it from Red John's act in killing both his wife and child. You would do that kind of act to him again?"

- "I'm sorry Grace, I didn't mean it," apologized Lisbon. "But Jane doesn't need to know."

Lisbon took her medicine then set it aside the laid back down.

- "Oh, sure you meant it. You have no hope and that is what upsets me. If you really were fighting instead of just giving up then maybe the treatment would be more effective." Grace said. "You should not shut him out."

- "Grace…I hurt all the time. I'm tired and my body tells me that it's almost the end. I learned too late for this disease. There is nothing else to do. You know it as well as me." Lisbon countered.

- "Teresa…A miracle could happen and you could heal. That is what I tell myself every day. I don't want to see you die. You're my friend." Grace said almost in tears.

Lisbon was silent a few minutes. She really did not expect at all that Grace would say such a thing. She became attached to her so quickly in just two weeks. She still remembered the day when Van Pelt had discovered her illness only three weeks earlier.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

_Lisbon just came out of her first chemotherapy session with the Dr. Fallen. She felt tired, nauseous and dizzy. She was not even sure she could make it home but she had no choice. There was no one to accompany her. She had not told anyone about her Leukemia. She continued to keep silent about it. She didn't want them to be there for her as she knew well enough how it would end. If people knew, they would constantly be worried. They would want to help. They would become attach to her and cry at the time of her death. She wanted to spare them that trouble. Even though, she knew they would be sad when the time came._

_The woman signed the papers handed to her by the nurse, took her jacket and head out of the building. Entering the parking lot she felt unease and took hold of a car to not fall. She closed her eyes willing it to get better. She opened her eyes feeling a bit more settled. She resumed her walk. She arrived at her car when she heard a familiar voice behind her and she turned to see Van Pelt approaching her._

_- "Hi boss," greeted the redhead._

_- "Hi Van Pelt," said Lisbon, trying to hide her condition._

_- "What are you doing here, if it is not too intrusive," Grace questioned while feeling stupid for asking such a personal question._

_- "I ... I had to ..."Lisbon faltered having no words but the truth._

_She swayed and was only saved from falling by Grace who caught her. Grace helped her stand and stood beside her until Lisbon felt better._

_- "Will you be okay Boss?" worried Van Pelt._

_- "Yes, a few minutes and I will," said Lisbon trying to smile._

_She was not fooling the Redhead. She knew her Boss was not ok._

_- "You're sick," it was not a question but a statement._

_- "It's ..." Lisbon again faltered as another wave of vertigo and nausea hit her._

_Grace looked deeply into her eyes. Lisbon knew that this time she could not lie. She had to tell the truth. So she took a deep breath and looked up at her colleague._

_- "Yes Grace as you have surmised I am sick, I have leukemia" Lisbon whispered, "but please, do not tell anyone especially Jane."_

_- "I will not say anything to anyone" promised the younger woman. "Only on one condition and that is not negotiable."_

_- "Van Pelt," said Lisbon with a threaten voice._

_- "You need help Teresa. You can not go on like this all alone and I intend to help you." Grace said._

_- "Van Pelt it's nice but ..." Lisbon tried to refuse her help but another attack happened to make her change her mind._

_- "You can not come here for your session and then go home alone. It would not be prudent and workdays will weary you even more. And, you will need someone to help you at night." Grace said._

_Lisbon thought for a moment to this proposal. It was true that the first session had tired her a lot. She did not know if she was able to return home alone. And Van Pelt seemed to really want to help. So the brunette could not refuse this request._

_- "Okay Grace I agree on the point only nobody should ever know and that includes Jane." Lisbon adamantly said._

_- "I will not tell anyone. No one will know anything from me, I promise." Grace said seeing it was the only way to help her Boss._

_Grace helped Lisbon to get in the car and sat behind the wheel._

_- "Boss what is your address?" Grace asked since the younger woman did not know where her Boss lived._

_Lisbon gave her the address in halting breaths_

_- "That is ok Boss I have a direction app. You need not to say anything more. Rest up there is going to be a long walk ahead." Grace said smiling. _

_Lisbon dosed off as Grace followed her apps direction. Lisbon awoke feeling a bit better. Something nagged at her on the appearance of the redhead._

_- "Grace...What were you doing at the hospital?" Lisbon inquired._

_- "I was there to give blood. I donate as often as possible" the redhead said with a sly smile._

_- "You are really a good person Grace" Lisbon said._

_- "Thank you Boss" Grace said._

_- "Please call me Teresa while we are not on the job" proposed Lisbon._

_- "Thanks Boss er Teresa Please call me Grace too." Grace said._

_- "All right I will Grace though I tend to use it before." Lisbon winked._

_The two women smiled as they arrived at Lisbon's apartment._

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Lisbon settled back comfortably in her bed, her eyes shining as she realized how much this woman cared for her. It was exactly what she wanted to avoid. However, that was what happened. Grace Van Pelt was a very sensitive woman. Perhaps a little too much and Lisbon knew that one day it would turn against her.

This day was rapidly approaching. The brunette also wanted to believe that a miracle would happen. She would get better. After all, she was only at the beginning of treatment. There might be a chance that it would happen. But if she was honest with herself Teresa doubted it.

Grace got up from the bed to store the different boxes of medicines and clean the bedside table where she had spilled a little water. The young woman did not like to hear her boss say such a thing. It was as if she had lost all hope. She was afraid that this was the case. Grace wanted to believe that Lisbon would recover.

She wanted to believe that the treatment would save her. That she would live many years. She had to rely on it, it could not be otherwise. Grace knew she was too attached to the older woman. She had never imagined that one day this would happen. But then, it was done and she would not change it for the world.

But if ever Lisbon had to die, it was not really for her that she was concerned. She was not alone. She had friends, family and people to support her. No, she was worried about Jane. He was alone and he had only Lisbon. Oh of course he had friends, Cho and Rigsby, and her too, but it was not the same.

Jane without Lisbon was not possible. Since, he had joined Lisbon's team almost ten years ago. She was able to see how these two were attached to each other, inseparable. They always teamed together, separating only rarely. Lisbon had often put her career on the line for him, she was ready to do anything for him and Grace dreamed of one day meet a man like that. A man who would care for her as much Jane cared for Lisbon.

Grace turned to observe Lisbon trying to find a comfortable position in bed. She suffered in silence. Always keeping her head high despite the pain and Grace admired her. Lisbon was a fighter, she had always been. Since her illness she had lost that strength. That worried Lisbon much. It was that strength which had made her the woman that everyone knew.

She had to find that strength again and Van Pelt knew only one person who could help her do that, Jane. The Mentalist was the only one who could really help Lisbon. It would only happen if she agreed to tell him about her illness. However, Lisbon was a real stubborn and it was almost impossible to make her change her mind. The key word here was 'Almost.' Grace knew how to play so she could make her friend talk to Jane. Though, all her arguments so far had not done it. Perhaps it might be up to her to break her pledge. The poor man needed to know.

The redhead turned to the bed and sat next to Lisbon who had opened her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek and Grace could not bear it. She took her in her arms and held her against her until her sobs subside.

- "It's going to be okay Teresa" whispered Grace

- "I wish I could believe that Grace" sobbed Lisbon. "…I'm afraid I'm going to die."

- "I too am afraid for you but I still want to believe in a cure or miracle" Grace said sobbing also feeling so sad for her friend.

Lisbon backed away from Grace's arms then dried her tears with the back of her hand. She tried to regain her composure. She knew that Grace did not judge. She was compassionate and understood her. She did not regret having to tell her fears. Lisbon was even more pleased to have someone like her, not only to help but also to support her. Though, she felt as if she was a burden for the younger woman. Grace was tired and Lisbon blamed herself to take so much of her free time.

- "You know Teresa, you might want to talk about it," Van Pelt began again. "I'm sure ..."

- "No," the tone of Lisbon was adamant. "I don't want him to know."

- "You are wrong," she continued anyway. "It pains me to see you suffer like this. You want to protect him from your illness. You think that it would be easier for him that way if you die. But let me tell you; this is the wrong move. He would suffer even more if you don't tell him anything."

Lisbon lowered her head. She was finally listening to what her friend told her with a lump in the throat. Grace seeing a weakness in her resolve pressed the attack further.

- "He already cares a lot for you and if you ever... If you..." Grace said.

- "I die," said Lisbon with a finality to the words.

- "Yes, if it happens, then you will always regret not telling him anything, not taking advantage of the time you had. I know you have feelings for him but you… You're scared." Grace pointed out.

- "I do not have ..." Lisbon began looking up.

- "Stop lying to me Teresa, I'm not stupid" Grace said getting mad. "I just want you to be happy and Jane as well."

Once again, Lisbon lowered her head. Grace was right and she had to stop lying. But could she bear to see him sad if she ever told him? And even more if he had the same feelings towards her? She did not know and she was afraid to discover the truth. She was afraid that this was not the case. She could not bear to face him if he did not return her feelings.

- "I'll leave you now" replied Grace rising. "I'll see you tomorrow at the office. Just think about what I said. It would be cruel not to take advantage of the time you have left. Just tell him!"

- "Thank you Grace and good night" smiled Lisbon.

- "Think about what I told you." Grace repeated trying to show her the importance of letting him know.

- "I'll think about it, Grace" she promised.

Grace left the room and Lisbon was alone. She pulled out her diary from the bedside table and began to write in it. She poured everything she had on her heart. The pages were filled with the fears, sorrows, and the feelings for the man who would do anything for her. She wanted so much to have the courage to talk and to tell him what was wrong. She faltered each time because she would not break his heart. She wrote for several minutes until she has trouble keeping eyes open. So she closed the book, put it away and lay in bed after turning off the light. Tomorrow morning she had a new chemo session and had to be in shape. She closed her eyes and let herself be overwhelmed by sleep.

**- oooo -**

In the morning, Jane stood up still tired. Though, he slept all night he still felt ill at ease and not refreshed. Seeing Lisbon like this made him sick and it had lasted too long. He quickly changed then drove to the CBI. He wanted to beat Lisbon to work and to make coffee for her. He would at least be entitled to her smile and it warmed his heart a little. He entered the kitchen, made tea for himself and coffee for Lisbon. It would be ready for her arrival.

Cho arrived first, followed closely by Rigsby and Van Pelt, but no trace of Lisbon. It was the sixth time this month she came in the afternoon and each time she was heading straight to her office. And every time she arrived at the same time as Van Pelt that came back from her lunch break. Some thing was definitely going on and he would find out what.

The Mentalist said nothing, just waiting for Grace to leave the bullpen for lunch. He decided to follow her in order to find out where she really went. He suspected that the redhead knew what was going on with Lisbon. After today he would know what it was too. When the time came, the young woman got up and left. Jane waited a little so as not to arouse suspicion and got to his feet to follow her. He got into his car and quickly located Grace's car. He followed her and arrived at the hospital parking lot. Jane immediately worried. Why was Grace here of all places? Then it stuck him. Grace was helping Lisbon. Now to find out what disease is Lisbon's suffering?

He got out of his car and tailed her from afar. He watched as she entered the building. He followed her to the oncology department and stopped when Grace stopped at the reception. His heart quickened when he saw Lisbon coming around, even paler than usual, shaking legs and he watched as Grace went to help her. So it was the disease Lisbon had. It was cancer. She was dying and had not said anything.

He wanted to be angry against her for having lied. He did not succeed. Instead, he was crying. Why had she not said anything, why have she kept this secret and why had she told Van Pelt? Why her and not him?

He heard them approached and hid in the corner of a hallway when they passed beside him. He listened to them talk casually.

- "What did the doctor say?" inquired Van Pelt.

- "They are going to increase my treatment. The chemo at this level has no longer enough effect" said Lisbon.

- "I'm sorry…" whispered Grace.

- "It is nothing, ah my hair itches," groused Lisbon in running a hand through her hair.

Jane saw something that hurt him a lot. Lisbon was losing her hair. Her beautiful brown hair was a casualty of this battle. He felt a tear running down his cheek. He let it make its way to his lips and he felt his salty taste. How had he not seen it? He had all the clues but some how his Mentalist skill had not seen this simple detail. Yet he spent hours observing her quietly. He felt fresh tears flow, and like the first, he let them dropped on his cheeks.

The two women exited the building but Jane did not follow them. He waited until they were out of sight before he started his trek back to the office. However, he did not go straight there. He first went by the cemetery. He did not go there that often. He did not really like to go there. Now he needed the solace of that place and did not even know why.

He needed time to digest the news because it was worse than anything he could have imagined. Lisbon perhaps would die. He was not ready to see someone else leave him. Although, this time, he was not responsible.

He stood before the graves of his wife and daughter for a long time, in silence, just listening to the sound of the wind in the trees and the birds singing. He needed to calm down. This was the place to do it. He knew that here no one would bother him. He needed to think. He needed to make some order to his thoughts. Now that he knew for certain Lisbon was ill with cancer and was taking Chemo to battle it. He did not know how to handle it.

He did not know how to behave in front of her. How could he act as if he knew nothing when he knew everything? He was used in hiding his emotions. He was uncertain he could do it this time. This time the topic was too big and too difficult for him to wear the mask this time. He did not want Lisbon to discover that he knew, well not immediately. He needed more time then he would go talk to her.

**- oooo -**

Lisbon and Van Pelt came to office and the brunette greeted his colleagues before going to her office where she shut herself up, as always. Grace sat behind her computer and went to work, as always. Cho watched them and did not say anything. He knew that something was going on and since his little chat with Rigsby a month earlier. He had begun to notice differences in the behavior of the two women. They were hiding something from them. He did not know what, but it was important, and serious enough for them to keep the secret. He wanted to know what it was, but he did not want to get into their private life. He was no gossip. He was not like that.

Rigsby also watched them, but just like Cho, he remained silent. He had stopped noticing changes in their behavior. Grace always went out for lunch for almost a month when she did not do before. She left the office and went back home at night without even having a drink in the evening with them, at least it was less often. He was afraid that she had a man in her life, but she was young and beautiful. It was natural that she go out without her colleagues. He just regretted that it was not him, because he still had feelings for her.

About Lisbon, the changes were more numerous. She no longer went out in the field or not as often as before and sent Van Pelt instead. She was always alone in her office and never went out with them at all. She sometimes was absent a whole morning and returned along with Grace. These two women were hiding things and he wanted to know what it is. They were a team and as such they could not do so. He had to know what was going on and the sooner the better.

To the biggest surprise of everyone, Jane did not return that day. Grace became uneasy, even more than usual. Before leaving in that evening, she went to Lisbon's office and Cho and Rigsby waited for her. But she stayed there so long that they decided to go without her again. They would eventually find out, they did not know when, but they would.

* * *

**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: let me know what were your thoughts. I would update sooner if I get some reviews. So, you know what you have to do.**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N****: here we go, chapter 3. Thank you so much for all the reviews. And here's the chapter you were waiting for. Hope you'll like it.**

_Sweety_

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 3**

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The Mentalist had spent more than half of the day sitting in front of the grave of his wife. He spoke to her, exposing his feelings, fears and doubts. He was not used to be talking to the dead. At this point he had no one else to confide. He needed to empty his heart. So he came to Angela. When the night began to fall he stood up.

He took one last look at the grave of the one who had shared his life for such a short time then walked toward his car. When he was about to open the door, a figure emerged from the shadows of the trees. This figure advanced towards him slightly uncertain. Jane recognized him right away then moved to meet him. He was happy to find a familiar face.

- "Hi Danny" Said Jane.

- "Hi Patrick, how are you?" asked the young man.

- "Not too bad, and you…?" Jane replied.

- "Same" said Danny. "Though, I see that you do not seem so well Patrick. What is wrong?"

- "I assure you that I'm fine. However, I have a friend who has a problem and it bothers me a little." Jane sadly stated.

- "You're talking about Agent Lisbon?" He inquired. "What is it?"

- "I don't know if I should tell you. It is something she kept hidden even from me." Jane stated.

- "If it affects you so much, I think you should talk to someone. You can not keep it all to yourself. You will end up hurting yourself if you do not spill to someone. I figure why not me?" Danny pointed out.

Jane was silent for a moment. He did not know what to do. He wanted to talk about this situation with Danny. He wanted to share and explain what was wrong. How he felt. He did not know if his brother-in-law would understand. Danny was at least there and wanted to help. What did he have to lose? If he continued to keep everything to himself, he would go crazy.

- "Ok Danny, but not here…Let us adjourn to my motel room." Jane suggested.

- "I'll follow you." Danny said.

The two men got in their car and Jane drove to his motel. He parked in front of his room and saw Danny's car park next to him. Then they both went inside. Jane closed the door behind them. He sat on the bed while Danny sat on a chair. They remained silent for several minutes. Jane was not sure whether it a good idea. He did not want to betray her secret.

It was even more important especially since he was not supposed to know. He knew this secret he couldn't keep it to himself for a long time. He only knew about it for only a few hours and it already weighed on him. Just the idea of not telling anyone and continue to live with this secret was too difficult.

Danny put a hand on his forearm which caused Jane to look up. He saw a reassuring smile on his Brother in Law's face. The young man had changed much since Jane had seen him last. He was no longer the careless fool who lived on bad jokes, dirty tricks and sometimes even illegal acts. Now he seemed to have a quiet life at least in appearance. Jane really hoped he has a good life. The two men had never really been close in the past. It was down right hate at times.

When Jane was with Angela then really fell in love with her and married her, Danny had blamed him to have stolen his sister. The worst time between them was when Angela and Charlotte were murdered. At this time, Danny had hated Jane in the depths of his heart. He accused Jane in precipitating the death of his sister and niece which was not that far off from the truth. If he had not been so arrogant in taunting a serial killer on Live TV he would still be happy with Angela. Then his dilemma about Lisbon would have never happened. However, that was just a pipe dream. Lisbon was sick and it hurt speaking about it.

Now Jane was happy to have his brother-in-law being with him. It helped to be able to have someone to talk to without fear. Before their fight, the two men spent a lot of time together. They were almost inseparable. They talked about everything and nothing. Neither had any secrets from each other and the mentalist was delighted to have found him. Jane really needed a friend at this time. So he turned to Danny with a thin smile on his lips. Danny spoke first to break the ice.

- "So tell me Patrick, what happened to Lisbon?" Danny asked speaking about 5 ton Elephant in the room.

- "I found out something this morning. It was something that pains me deeply." replied Jane. "Lisbon is a very secretive woman. She never talks about what's wrong. She is very stoic like and keeps it all to herself." Jane started.

- "Hmmm…It vaguely reminds me of someone" Danny smiled.

- "Yeah, well…I was worried about her. She had not been feeling well since last month and I was worried about her." Jane continued.

- "Have you tried to talk to her?" inquired the young man.

- "Yes, but as always, she replies that she's fine, she's just overworked. That is just deflection from her real illness. Why can not she confide in me? What did I do to cause so much mistrust?" Jane said visibly shaking at the rage he was feeling.

- "Jane… Must I point out the obvious?" Danny asked.

- "No…I know what I did and do. I never made her life very easy." Jane said gloomily.

- "So…What happened today that had changed all of your perceptions…?" He asked trying to focus Jane.

- "I followed Van Pelt today. You might remember the redhead agent? They became closer to each other lately and I wanted to know why." Jane explained.

- "So what did you discover?" Danny asked.

- "Lisbon is very ill. Life threatening if I had to guess." whispered Jane.

Jane bowed his head. A single tear ran down his cheek. This was the first time he had said it to someone. He had said it and it made it all too real. Lisbon was sick and might die. He could not change that fact. He could do nothing to cure her. He still did not understand why she did not tell him.

Why she had kept it to herself and only Van Pelt was in the confidence. He wanted to understand her motives. He needed to know. He had to see and talk to her. He wanted her to explain her reasons. Jane knew he would not force the issue. He should seek her out and tell her what he had learned. Though, he was not ready to see her get even angry at him. It would be worst to see her withdraw into herself and refuse to talk to him.

Danny on the other hand, felt bad for his brother-in-law. He knew how difficult it had been for Patrick to recover from Angela's death. He did not know if Jane had really fully recovered. He also knew that agent Lisbon was an important person for his Brother in Law. She was his best friend and the only one who understood him. She was the one person to see him as he was.

He greatly enjoyed this woman for what she did without even realizing it. It was done without even trying. She had helped him when he needed help and for that he was grateful. He understood why she had not said anything to him. Why she had kept the secret about her illness? It was time for Patrick to understand and forget his anger.

- "Jane I think the reason she did not tell you was to protect you." Danny said slowly.

Jane raised his head slowly trying to understand what his Brother in Law was saying.

- "It is not a matter of trust Jane. She trusts you more than anyone" explained Danny. "I'll tell you why she did not say anything. It's quite simple actually. She kept it a secret because she cares about you. She does not want you to suffer more."

- "Do I not suffer now?" The Mentalist lost his temper. "You think it does not hurt me to know that she talked to Grace but do not tell me anything?"

- "Jane…Try to see from her point of view. Imagine that you're sick so much that you might die. Would you tell her or more likely would you keep this knowledge to yourself?" Danny asked to make Jane realize.

- "I ... I would not say anything," Jane whispered.

- "Well if you'd rather keep it to yourself then leave her in the dark. Why..?" Danny asked.

- "Because I know it would hurt her. She would not be able to do anything for me." Jane said.

- "That is your answer Brother." Danny said.

Jane turned his head to Danny. He had finally understood Lisbon's reason for being silence. He knew she cared about him. Likewise he would do anything for her. She was that important to him. He always knew she wanted to protect him even to the detriment of her own well-being.

She also knew it would be hard for him to lose someone close again. She had tried to protect him. Once he understood he felt bad and guilty. He scolded himself for having doubted the trust she had placed in him. He had spied her, had not respected her privacy. How could she forgive him?

He realized now something else. He had been so scared to lose her that he had let his anger take over his brain. Usually, he would have tried to understand and not judge her. He would have tried to make her comfortable enough to talk and confide in him. Instead, he had been angry. Now he understood and he wanted to go and see her.

- "You should wait a little Patrick" Said Danny. "She will come to you when she is ready. She will eventually talk to you. You must not doubt it."

- "But what can I do in the meantime. How could I even look her in the eyes now without her knowing that I know she is hurting? I'm not that good of an actor. It would be self evident on my face." Jane implored.

- "I think it would be best if she saw that you were concerned. Patrick whatever you do, do not ever show that you pity her. That will be the quickest way for her to flee."

- "I certainly would not do that." Jane retorted.

- "Do not worry Patrick, you'll both get there. Just be patent with her. If this illness is as bad as it is as you related. She will need time to adjust." Danny warned.

- "Thank you Danny, I was lucky you were there. You had helped me see what I should have seen earlier" Jane said relived that those nagging questions have finally been given a rest.

- "You're welcome Patrick. Well, I should go now. You take care of yourself." Danny said rising.

- "Ok, thanks again Danny you have been a great help." Jane said rising to escort his Brother in law out the door.

After exiting the room they stood looking at each other then they shook their hands. Jane turn then entered and closed the door after Danny left. He then returned to his bed and lay there letting his thoughts wander to the brunette. Now he understood everything. He wanted to make her to know that she could talk to him without fear. He was suffering more from her silence. More than wanted, he needed her to talk to him. He would not force her to do it.

**- oooo -**

Van Pelt had only been gone for a few minutes. Lisbon settled as comfortably as possible in bed. She felt a little nauseated with her head still spinning. She certainly did not feel as bad as in the afternoon. It was something else that tormented her and it had nothing to do with her illness. She was worried for Jane. She had wondered where he could have spent this afternoon? Why he had left? It was not like him to leave before she got back from her medical appointment. Lisbon wondered if he had a problem? Was he sick too? She did not like not knowing where he was. It was bad normally if he wandered off because he was bored trouble soon found him. Keeping track of him was an exhausting experience. She needed to know.

Lisbon turned to the side to try to sleep. Feeling sick once again and she stood up to go to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach. She slipped on the cold floor of the room with sweat beading on her forehead. She tried to get up but was unable to do so. She stayed there on the floor a little longer until her dizziness passed. Sometimes she regretted her decision not to tell anyone. She being alone to face it all was not working. Grace could not always be there. She had her own life and work too. Lisbon finally realized she could not go to work any longer. She felt increasingly weak and tired.

The doctor had told her she would have to stop working eventually to allow her body to heal properly. She did not want to but now she did not have a choice. Even if it was her whole life and she had nothing else but her work. It was what defined her. She had always devoted her life to her work. She chose work and neglected her social life to become the agent she was today. But for what she pondered? She was an excellent agent, a team leader and had a good reputation. Soon that would be in the past and she could not do anything about that she was just too weak to work.

She began to cry. All these treatments and tests had made her far too sensitive. She did not like it, not at all. She wanted so much to talk to someone now, but to whom? She had Grace but she could not call her now being she was out with friends. She thought of Jane. She should have to explain what was wrong. She would need to tell him why she looked so tired. Why she was absent so often only to return later in the day. She wanted to tell him. She really did but she would not afford to add that burden to him.

After a few minutes, Lisbon finally made a decision. She knew she would regret it but she had to. She needed him. So she found the strength to stand up being helped by the wall then she fell back into bed. Luckily, Grace had left her phone on the nightstand.

She called Jane's number the one which was so familiar. She already dreading the answer that she would have but she needed him now.

- "Hello" she heard him say.

- "Jane…This is Lisbon." She weakly said.

- "Lisbon…? Is everything okay?" Jane asked being immediately alarmed.

- "Not really…I need your help…" she replied being ashamed to admit she was helpless. "Could you come over, please?"

- "Of course Lisbon… I'll be right over. I'll be there in a few minutes." Jane said getting himself ready.

- "Please Jane take your time and do not drive to fast ok?" she said in her usual manner.

- "Come on Lisbon, you know me" smiled Jane.

- "Exactly," she muttered while rolling her eyes and a smile stretched across her lips. "Please be careful, Jane. That's all I ask."

- "Ok Lisbon I promise. I'll drive like a Judge." Jane quipped.

She hung up with a smile still on her face. She would have to talk to him. She needed to tell him the truth. She was still afraid to face him and of his reaction to this news. She wondered how would he take her long silence? She knew he would be angry with her. She would have to try to explain her reasons then maybe then he would eventually understand. She just wanted to spare him further suffering and protect him as she always did.

In protecting him she had only hurt herself. She needed him more than she had thought. She missed their nights together after work and their arguments that always ended up over tea and coffee. She missed all that horribly and she wanted to find it again. She had only a short time. She did not want to waste it away from those she loved.

Until Jane arrived, Lisbon lay in bed and ended up falling asleep. She was tired due to her treatment of this morning, the tears and dizziness. She did not hear the door opened and then closed nor did she hear the footsteps on the stairs. She was unaware that the door of her room being open and someone had gotten very close to her. She felt that person sitting on the bed next to her. She felt the hand that rested on her cheek. She also heard the whisper close to her face and the warm breath not far from her lips.

- "Lisbon" Jane whispered removing a lock of hair from her face. "It's Jane, Please wake up."

- "Mmmm" moaned the woman pushing his hand away. "Jane?"

- "Yes, I'm here, you can open your eyes." He said.

Lisbon opened her eyes and saw his smiling face. She smiled back trying to raise herself up. She immediately failed when her head began to spin and she fell back on the pillow. Jane leaned toward her immediately to help her to sit properly. He put the pillow behind her back to help support her into a sitting position. He pushed back a lock of hair that fell before her eyes and felt that she was burning with fever. He made sure she was okay, that she was properly situated then he got up to go to the bathroom. He returned with a damp cloth and passed it over her face. She closed her eyes enjoying the cool cloth on her face.

- "Feeling better?" inquired the Mentalist.

-" Yes Jane much… Thank you" whispered Lisbon.

- "Well, I'll leave you for a few minutes to go make some tea." Jane said rising.

- "Please Jane would you get some coffee for me?" the brunette asked.

- "Tea it is and do not try to argue" Jane smiled. "I wont be long."

- "All right Jane." Lisbon said acquiescing.

He left the room then entered the kitchen and began to boil water for tea. He then looked around the room in search of cups and tea. He eventually found it in the cupboard next to the sink. He prepared the drinks and arranged everything on a tray. When he returned he was not surprise to find her asleep while still in the sitting position.

He put the tray on the table and went back to Lisbon. She would not sleep well in that position. Gently he removed the pillow placing her prone and covered her with a blanket. He wanted to make sure she will not get cold. The weather was mild, but with her illness, he would take maximum precautions. He would never forgive himself if she was to catch something more. She was already bad enough.

He gazed her for a moment admiring her serene face. She was so beautiful. He did not resist the urge to move his hand through her hair as he had always longed to do. But when he slid his fingers in his hair, he was surprised to see the locks come with his hand. He already knew she was losing her hair. He felt his heart sink a little deeper into his chest. How had she managed to hide it from him?

He was about to rise when he felt her hand grab on to his wrist. It prevented him from leaving. He remembered the reason for his presence in here. She was sick and she needed him that was why he was here. She was fast asleep which meant that she certainly felt at peace in his presence. So, he decided to stay. He could not leave now while she certainly needed him. He was not going to leave when finally she decided to call him. So he sat on the bed while taking Lisbon's hand.

Lisbon turned in her sleep and their linked hands fell on Jane's belly. He held his breath not knowing what to do. He did not dare move. It was the first time since the death of Angela he found himself in bed with a woman. Well it was more like she was against him. Lisbon moved her second arm around Jane's waist that prevented him from leaving. He gradually relaxed finally finding a comfortable position without waking her. She needed him so he was there.

- "Thank you Jane" Lisbon whispered against him.

- "You're welcome Lisbon" he replied, kissing her forehead. "Sleep on now."

- "Don't go," she whispered back.

- "Never" he assured her.

He closed his eyes to sleep a little. Lisbon looked up at him with her eyes half open. He opened his and gazed into hers.

- "Is there a problem Lisbon?" Jane asked worriedly.

- "I have to tell you something Jane" she began, "this is important."

- "It can wait until tomorrow, Lisbon. Now you need your sleep." Jane admonished.

- "But I want ..." Lisbon protested.

- "I ... I know everything, Lisbon. Now go to sleep we will discuss it later." Jane said.

- "What? How…?" Lisbon said.

- "Lisbon it does not matter…You are ill and need to sleep to get better. Once you are rested we will have this discussion but not now." Jane asserted.

Teresa knowing Jane could be as stubborn as she acquiesced.

-"All right Jane…I'm too tired to argue…We will have this conversation right?" Lisbon asked.

- "Yes Lisbon we will now go to sleep." Jane assured her.

Lisbon snuggled closer to the Mentalist then closed her eyes. It felt good that Jane was here and so understanding. It was just like him to know when she did not want him to be. Lisbon was also comforted that Jane was only concerned with her health.

She really needed him and he was there. They would talk the next day and she would explain everything. But for now, she just wanted to sleep next to him. She felt him move and she tightened her arm around him. They had fallen asleep in each other's arms. She was calmer than before because they had been honest with each other.

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**TBC...**

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**A/N2****: that was it. Let me know what you thought of it. The more I have reviews, the sooner I will update.**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N****: sorry it took me so long to update. Real life got in the way. Many thanks for all the reviews. I'll try do be faster next time.**

_Sweety_

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

* * *

**Chapter 4**

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Lisbon felt good, comfortable and much better than she had ever felt for a long time. Her pillow was surprisingly warm, cozy, comfortable and soft. But strangely, it moved at a steady pace which made her open her eyes. She noticed that she had slept on Jane's chest. She wondered how she had ended up here? She remembered falling asleep against him however, not on him. Once the surprise had passed, she decided to enjoy it as long as possible then closed her eyes again. She almost forgot about her illness. When a new wave of nausea took her she remembered then stood up rushing to the bathroom. Her sudden departure woke Jane on the way. He quickly opened his eyes then watched the fleeing Lisbon. Jane got up then made his way to her bathroom. The door was left open as she was retching once again. He carefully assessed the situation.

- "Lisbon, are you okay?" he asked rubbing her back and holding her hair out of her face.

- "No Jane I'm not…I'm feeling ill." She said between explosive vomiting.

Jane helped her as best he could. He moistened a washcloth with warm water then used it to clean her face. She closed her eyes savoring the tenderness he showed. Why was Jane acting in a loving way? She did not know. Why had he stayed? She did not know that either. She dismissed both questions then she took advantage of the situation. She did not know for how long she might be all right or how long she had to live.

She opened her eyes meeting his. She was unable to see anything other than tenderness. She expected to see pity, but no. Jane was different and she was angry with herself to not have said anything to him earlier. She had wanted to protect him. Now she wondered if it was herself she wanted to protect. To learn that she would die about had scared her so much that she had tried to shut out the world. She did not want to see her family mourn her loss. Now she was there with Jane by her side helping it felt so good.

She placed her hand on Jane's which stopped his movement. She smiled fondly which he responded with one of his own. It was one he only reserved only for her. Standing up she slipped into his arms. She laid her head against his shoulder as he carried her back to bed.

Lying back down after that terrible ordeal she pressed her lips together to keep from crying. There was pain and it caused tears to fall anyway. Since, she had learned about her illness. She could not stop crying. She just hurt all the time. She could not help herself. She felt a bit self conscious about the amount of her crying. Now with Jane at her side she did not care. It was like a dream. She had her dream man now. Even if it was only temporary and that there was nothing romantic between them.

- "Thank you Jane" she whispered.

- "You're welcome, Lisbon" he replied, "I'll be here as long as you need me."

- "It will not last long. You need not to worry" she said turning to face him.

- "What do you mean?" worried the Mentalist.

- "The disease was well advanced when it was discovered, Jane. The doctor told me that the treatment would only prolong my life. I was still going to succumb to this horrible disease." Lisbon explained with almost no emotions.

- "No," he whispered with his eyes changing immediately.

He would not believe her. It could not be true. She could not be on the verge of dying. He did not want it to be true. He could not imagine his life without her. He needed her too. Lisbon was the only one who really understood him. She was the only one who knows the deal. He had already lost his wife. He could not lose Lisbon as well. He would not survive another loss.

- "The ... the doctor… Is he certain?" he asked with hope in his eyes and voice.

- "She said that I could eventually survive. Jane, my body is too weak. I can feel it losing." she said while starting to cry again.

She desperately held on to his shirt.

- "Jane I'm so scared… I don't want to die!" She sobbed.

- "I don't want that either Teresa" Jane said holding her head close and choking back his own tears.

Once they both calmed down Jane began to continue his questioning.

- "What about your treatments…" Jane inquired. "How effective are they?"

- "She told me that it would help. She is not certain how effective though. I feel weaker each passing day. I accepted the treatment only to take care of things before I..." Lisbon coughed before she could finish that sentence.

The coughing spasm hurt even worse than the retching.

- "Let's get you into something dry and under the covers. You need to get warm." Jane said. Lisbon nodded then pointed out where she kept her spare PJ's tops.

Jane picked one out then removed the old soaked with tears one then placed the new one over her body. He could see how this disease had ravaged her. He placed her under the covers as he lay beside her.

- "Thanks, Patrick" She said.

He just nodded, he could not speak. She looked at him with much compassion then continued her thoughts before the coughing spell.

- "I wanted to have time to make sure my brothers are doing well along with my nieces and nephews." She said.

- "You did this for them? Until the end you will stay Saint Teresa" Jane smiled trying to forget the sad news. "The problem is Teresa, you are doing these treatments for the wrong reason. That is why your health has deteriorated."

- "What do you mean Patrick?" Teresa asked wondering where he was going.

- "You are doing these treatments for someone else's benefit not your own. You are not convinced that they will work and you are causing them not to do so." Jane explained.

- "What do you mean?" Teresa asked again.

- "My dear Teresa…To fight this disease and win you must believe you can

do so." Jane said cradling her head.

- "Are you saying I'm not fighting for my life?" Lisbon asked getting a bit upset at that idea.

- "Not at all Teresa…You are fighting it the wrong way. You need to visualize you getting better with each treatment. Positive mental outlook is the key to your survival." Jane said.

- "Are you trying to tell me…Some of Brett Stiles' ideas are valid?" Lisbon scoffed.

- "In a word yes…Teresa the mind is a powerful tool. I can help you through guided imagery. It is sort of like Hypnosis but much more powerful for treating illnesses." Jane said.

- "Guided Imagery?" Teresa queried.

- "Yes. Olympic Athletes use it to improve their performance. I will show you how it is done." Jane said.

- "Ok Patrick I want to learn." Teresa said.

- "Good… I need to know when is your next treatment?" Jane asked.

- "Hmmm maybe next week I'm not sure it is on the calendar over there." Lisbon pointed to the table.

- "Good we have time…I want you to close your eyes…Think of the doctor's office. How describe in your mind how you normally feel once there?" Jane said.

Lisbon did as Jane said. She realized she felt anxious and tired.

- "Ok now that you have a good idea what you normally feel and want you to imagine you instead feel calm and relaxed. I want to say to yourself this treatment will make you be better. I want that image of a healthier you be imprinted every time you do see the doctor." Jane said.

Teresa tried but each time she failed to keep the image. Disappointment was evident on her face.

- "Teresa you can not expect success right away. You just started. I do guarantee by the time that doctor appointment happens you will be ready. Now I want you to go back to sleep." Jane said.

- "Ok Patrick will you be here went I awake?" Lisbon asked through her yawn.

- "Teresa I will be right beside you…I promise. Jane said.

- "Good night Patrick" She said as she drifted off to the land of Nod.

- "Good night Teresa" He whispered.

**-oooo-**

Lisbon awoke again with her head on his chest. She felt better than she had in a long time. Perhaps it was the curative effects of one Patrick Jane? She did not know. Jane awoke to see her eyes looking back at him.

- "Good Morning Teresa…How do you feel?" Jane asked.

- "Better but weak…I need my medicine…It is over there." She said as she pointed to the table. "I need to take them with food."

- "Ok Teresa I think a couple of soft boiled eggs on toast should fit that description" Jane said.

- "Ok Patrick… She said as she snuggled back under the covers.

- "Jane bounded down the stairs to find the stuff to make breakfast. He was whistling while preparing breakfast when he heard the door open. It was Grace.

- "Oh Jane I did not know that Lisbon had company…" She said.

- "Good Morning Grace she's awake go right up…Have you eaten?" Jane inquired.

- "Yes Wayne and I just finished a few moments before I arrived. So no thanks but thank you for the offer, Jane." Grace said as she left to go see Lisbon.

She was giddy that Teresa had finally followed her advice. She opened the door and found Teresa sitting up in bed. There were two indentations showing someone slept beside her. That someone was whistling and it was becoming louder.

- "So you did it?" She asked sitting on the bed.

- "Yes I did" the brunette beamed.

- "Tell me all about it…" Grace said very enthusiastically.

- "It happened last night…You were at your dinner and I did not want to disturb you…I was too weak to get off the floor. I had my phone and I called Patrick and he came immediately over. He had not left." She explained.

Patrick entered the room with a tray. Somehow he had found a single rose in a small vase to decorate the tray.

- "Ladies…If you please I need to set this down." Jane said.

Grace got up as Jane dragged the rolling table over. He gently dropped the tray consisting of two plates with soft boiled eggs and toast. There were two cups one filled with only hot water and a tea bag. The other was filled with the natural aroma of only one thing. Coffee.

Lisbon greedily took the cup and sipped. She savored the flavor of her favorite beverages. Patrick seemed to know exactly the way she liked it.

Grace dragged over a chair as Teresa and Jane ate. She watched how he doted on her. She was glad her friend finally got over her stubbornness. She saw how good they were together.

Once finished eating Jane cleared away their dishes as Grace prepared Teresa's medicine. Jane looked over her shoulder to see how each medicine was used.

Grace felt a bit self conscious. Jane was really interested.

- "Here you go boss…" Grace said giving her the medicine.

Teresa grimaced as she tasted the vile concoction. At least she was not losing what she had just eaten like so many times before.

- "Thank you Grace…" She said then lay back down.

- "Sure thing Boss…" Grace said.

Teresa smiled as she drifted off to sleep. Jane with the tray and Grace exited the room.

Once down in the kitchen Jane brewed another cup of tea. He made a coffee for Grace. He could tell the redhead wanted to talk. He sat down across from her.

- "I'm so glad she called you Jane. She should not be alone in this. I know you care deeply for her." Grace said.

- "I would have been here sooner…" Jane said.

- "Yes I know. I've been battling with her over a few months on that same topic but you know the Boss…" Grace lamented.

- "Stubborn thy name is Teresa" Jane chuckled.

Grace laughed along too.

- "So how did you find out?" Jane asked.

- "By accident…I was going to the hospital to donate my blood as usual. I found her in the parking lot looking ill clutching the side of a car as if her life depended on it. I learned later it was her first treatment for her Leukemia. I would not let her drive by herself and I've been helping her as much as she will let me ever since." Grace said.

Jane chuckled.

- "It seems like we have a very fussy patient" Jane said.

- "That is not the half of it." Grace exclaimed.

- "You are a good friend Grace. I intend to help nurse her back to health." Jane claimed.

- "How are you going to accomplish that?" Grace asked being very curious.

- "With guided imagery…" Jane announced.

- "Oh it is the same as Brett Stiles says." Grace said.

- "What do you know of Brett Stiles?" Jane asked curiously.

- "Well he helped be get over my shooting of the man I was going to marry." Grace said.

- "Really now that is interesting" Jane said.

- "Yeah, he helped me much but he did not even tried to recruit me to his cult." Grace admitted.

- "Is that so…Thanks you Grace for being so open" Jane said.

- "Anything to help heal the Boss…I would like to teach her myself but she was not listening." Grace said.

- "I think it was not the lesson she did not want. It was you were not the one she wanted instructing her." Jane said.

- "I never thought of it that way…Thanks Jane…I've got to go…I'll call if we need you…I suppose you are going to be staying here?" Grace asked.

- "Well we have not discussed such things. But if she would have me yes, I would like to make this a bit more permanent." Jane admitted to the Redhead.

- Good she will need you. I was just a poor substitute for who she really wanted." Grace said as she got up then headed out the door.

Jane was stunned by that revelation. Lisbon had only tolerated him for the longest time. Who knew she was secretly longing for him.

After Grace left he went upstairs to check on her. She was still asleep. Good, he had a few errands to run. Hopefully she will stay asleep while he was out.

**-oooo-**

She awoke to a different clothed Patrick Jane. She could have sworn he was clothed differently when they ate breakfast together.

- "Oh you are awake…" Jane said smiling.

- "Yes and you are different…I mean the clothes are…" Lisbon said blushing.

- "Yes you kind of soiled my shirt last night so I went back to my place and picked up a few things. I hope you don't mind but I feel I should stay here until you are well." Jane said.

- "I'm so sorry about that Patrick. I was incredibly sad." She admitted.

- "How so…?" he asked.

- "I was given the news I could no longer work…That my body was too weak. I can not imagine myself without working, Patrick…It is all I know." She said.

Jane wrapped her in his arms. She could not help but cry again.

- "Hush Teresa you will work again…We will do this together" Jane exclaimed.

- "We will…?" She asked in a childlike voice.

- "Definitely" Jane replied.

Lisbon smile then hugged him tighter. She had always liked him for his kindness to the victims, especially when they were children. At least the victims that were still alive which was not often the case. She enjoyed his company because he always knew how to lighten the mood. He always had a joke. He was charming and always considerate. He was always attentive to her needs. This new commitment was something she had never dreamt possible.

She would have loved to live the perfect life that had had her parents before the tragedy that had hit her family. Her father and mother were the happiest couples in her little girl's eyes. They loved each other and have showed it every day. They had together four wonderful children that they loved more than anything and that was what young Teresa wanted more than anything. But fate had other plans and she became a cop. Now all looked lost until he came to her.

**-oooo -**

She fell asleep again after his commitment in getting her healthy. She awoke later in his arms. It was the greatest thing that had happen to her. She wanted to burn this picture of them deep in her memory to have it with her at the end. She let her fingers play with the buttons on Jane's shirt. He awoke and she felt him take her hand in his then bring it to his lips to kissed it.

The woman closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth and softness of Jane's lips on her skin. She definitely felt good and she never wanted to wake up without him in bed again. He mentioned staying did that mean she would not be without him?

She sank a little against him then closed her eyes and breathed in his smell. He wore no perfume and she liked it. If only she was not dying, if only they were just trying to live a normal life. It would be a life where Jane was in love with her. She wanted to have this dream life. Lisbon felt Jane's hand move to her hair, his fingers sliding in it gently and tenderly as his lips on her hand. It was a tender gesture and so intimate. She slides her arms around his waist and fall asleep.

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**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: tel me what you think of this chapter. I know it's not as good as others stories here, but it is an old story and some french people tod me that I'm better now. Hope you liked that chapter and will tell me.**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N****: here's chapter 5. I hope you will like it, even if it is sad.**

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 5**

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A week had passed since Lisbon had call Jane to tell him about her sickness. He had stay with her since. He never left her side. She was grateful for that. She had been feeling weak a couple of times. Jane had been there to help and comfort her. Grace still came now only once a day. Lisbon didn't want her to come as often. She wanted her to enjoy her life and not waste it by staying with her.

Today, Grace had come to diner. Lisbon wanted to enjoy her time with her friends after her last appointment. She had some news to tell. She wanted both of them to know together. They had been there for her. She would not hide them the truth.

-" Grace, Patrick, I must tell you something" Lisbon said.

-" What is it?" asked Jane while sitting on the couch beside her.

-" Today, when I went to see the doctor he told me something," She began and she saw that Jane was anxious. "He told me that I had to go to the hospital."

-" Is your treatment not working?" asked Grace.

-" Not really, Grace" Lisbon answered. "I was feeling more and more tired these last few days. I told him and he did some tests. I have to change my treatment and for that I have to stay in the hospital."

No one said anything for a moment. Lisbon looked up at Jane to see him sad. She knew he wanted to come with her today, but he had been call by Cho to help them on a case. She had assured him that he needed to go. That she would be fine to go on her own. He had been reluctant at first. Finally he had agreed then left to help them. That was that day that she learned her treatment was not working.

She let her tears flowed down her cheeks. She was not trying to hide them. She wasn't ashamed to cry in front of them. They were her friends and would not judge her. She needed to let out her anger and frustration. This was the only way to do it. Jane embraced her in his arms then held her tight. He was crying as well. Grace stood there unable to say or do anything.

After several minutes of tears and silence, Lisbon pulled away from Jane, She remained in his arms. She did not want to leave or move away from him. Life offered her the chance to be happy for a while. She wanted to enjoy it. Jane had promised to be there for her until the end and she did not doubt him.

She would be admitted to hospital in a few days and she needed Jane to help in the meantime. She could not ask Grace to miss one day at work. She knew Jane would not go to the office if she was not there. He was particular in that. He was like her shadow. He rarely teamed with anybody else in general. The only exception was when she ordered him. Since, he knew about her illness his clinginess had increased.

The woman looked up at her consultant. He was observing to see if she would feel sick. He was ready to help her at every moment. She smiled being pleased that he was there as was Grace. She did not want them to waste more time. So, she had to tell them everything and now.

-" I must also tell you that I'm going to the hospital in a few days" she said. "It would be on Monday actually."

-" So soon…?" Grace was really surprised.

-" Yes, It's so soon. I think it is for the best, Grace. You can not keep coming every day. You have a life with Wayne to consider." Teresa commented.

-" …It does not bother me to help…I enjoy helping you." objected the redhead.

-" It may not bother you however it does me. I've enjoyed the time spent in your company, believe me. I do not want to continue like this." Teresa stated.

-" What about me, Teresa…? Are you banishing me too?" Jane asked worriedly.

-" No Jane You I want beside me. It is only Grace. I am only looking out for her best interests." Teresa said. "She can ill afford to take any days off. You need to look after yourself Grace."

-" I'll be there" Jane interjected. "I'll take care of you until Monday as I did for the last few days. I'd drive you to the hospital and stay with you."

-" I'm glad you're here with me Patrick. When I'm in the hospital it is not necessary for you to come every day." Teresa said.

Jane seemed hurt by her words and he moved away from her abruptly. She had to speak again and fast. She had not wanted to hurt him. She knew that if he came too often. He would be hurt. She could not bear to see the sadness in his eyes every day until the last. She then approached him then took one of his hands and put the other one on his cheek for him to look into her eyes. She wanted him to understand her decision.

-" Listen to me, Patrick, try to understand my point of view" she began. "I would also like to see you every day. I would also like to have you with me. To me it will be too difficult when the time comes for me to leave. I don't want you to suffer because of me. I have hurt you enough."

-" Now, you listen to me Teresa" Jane's tone of voice indicated he would not tolerate interruption, "I want to come as often as possible. Everyday if need be. I want to keep you company. To be there for you whenever you need me and when you are feeling sad. I know now if I'm not with you then I would not go back to the CBI. It is not the same without you."

Grace felt that she had to leave them alone. She seemed to be in the middle of a declaration of love between two colleagues and walked away quietly. Either way, they were no longer pay attention to her. There was nothing else except them. The world no longer existed for them at that moment.

She was happy for them. Even though she knew it would not last long. They had the chance to be together now. To be able to say what they really have on their heart. The woman then went into the kitchen. She still eavesdropped to know what was being said. She too was curious. She knew it was wrong of her to do this. She just could not help herself.

Jane and Lisbon were still staring into each other eyes. Lisbon still had her hand placed on Jane's cheek. She felt his hand move up on to hers. She felt chills ran through her body. It was warmth that spread throughout her stomach and on her cheek by the touch of his fingers on her skin. She so wanted not to be sick. She wanted the courage to kiss him then tell him what she really had on her heart. She would not do that. They were already too close and everything will end badly. She had no doubt. She had to retreat for his own good.

-" Patrick, I ... I don't know what to say to make you understand that it is not healthy for you to stay with me. You don't understand what I'm trying to do. When I'll die, you will be alone and sad." Teresa said.

-" Teresa, I don't care what will happen after. All I see is what is happening now. What I see is that you need me. Once you are gone there will be no need. I know that what I say is difficult to hear. It's pretty hard for me to say or even think. Yes I am bound to you. Yes, I know it's bad for me. I may sink in a depression after that. Teresa this is my wish so don't refuse me." Jane determinedly said.

While still in the kitchen, Grace began to worry about them. One minute they were talking quietly then next they were arguing. How can they do that? There were so many issues on which they disagreed. It was usually when they were working. Today, it was about Jane coming or not to see Lisbon in the hospital.

Grace did not want to be part of it. Honestly, she was not sure which view was right. She realized that Teresa did not want him to come see her. She knew that Jane was used to always have what he wanted. Today, that meant seeing Teresa everyday, even if it was not healthy. She could understand him. He was very attached to Lisbon ever since their first meeting. He did not want to waste time. Unfortunately for him, he was about to lose another important person in his life.

Van Pelt cocked her head to the side to hear what was happening. She got concerned when she did not to hear anything. She finally relaxed upon seeing that they were staring at each other. Each wanted to make their point. As always, Words were inadequate for this type of conversation. It could only be expressed with their eyes.

There was no doubt these two really loved each other. Even though, they were too stubborn to admit it. That to Grace was a shame. They had already suffered and gone through so much together. Grace sometimes wanted to scream her rage at universe for what they endured.

Grace went back to washing the dishes. Since, she had used them to cook diner. She did not pay more attention to them. She was not needed for they had to resolve this conflict by themselves. Plus Jane was here so she was not needed. Not that it bothered her to be here. They needed to be alone. Her friend was in good hands. There was no one better than Jane in taking care of her.

She entered the room once she had finished in the Kitchen. She picked up her jacket and bag then headed for the door. She stopped to look back taking one last look at them before opening it and exiting. She decided it was good that she had left. They looked like they need some privacy.

Jane and Lisbon were thus left alone with no one left to disturb them. They really needed to talk. The question was…Were they willing to do it? That answer was maybe. They were not sure of it, yet. Perhaps, they would just enjoy the day together.

They finally had the chance to get to really know each other outside of work. Teresa wanted to change clothes. It was then that she realized she had a problem. Grace had left before she had taken a shower. It was usually Grace who came to help her. She was too weak to do anything without help. Grace would come in the morning to help her before going to work. Patrick was the only one with her now. It would be too humiliating and embarrassing to ask him to help her. She then decided to do it on her own.

She got up then started to climb the stairs. She felt lightheaded and had to grip the railing tightly to prevent from falling down. Patrick seeing her distress rushed to her side. She was sweating with her legs shaking. She could hardly stand. She collapsed into Patrick's arms and he carried her into her bedroom.

Getting there he laid her on the bed so she could recover.

-" Thanks Patrick, I guess I should not have tried this stunt without your help." Teresa slowly said.

-" You Think? I believe it was almost certain you wanted to deceive yourself that you can do things by yourself. Teresa, I want you to succeed but you need to face reality. You need help." Patrick said. "There is no shame in admitting it."

-" I know Patrick it is just so embarrassing. I just wanted to take a shower. Grace has left so I thought I could do it myself." Teresa said.

-" Teresa, I will help you…It is important to feel clean. It helps your mental outlook." Patrick said.

-" Jane, I'm…"Teresa started to blush.

-" Embarrassed…? Nonsense I've helped you get undressed for night and I've seen you naked then. It did not seem to bother then why now?" Patrick pointed out.

-" That is not the same…"Teresa huffed.

-" Why is it not?" Jane replied.

Teresa could not think of a good retort then relented.

-" Ok it is the same are you happy?" Teresa said getting mad.

-" No, as much as I pat myself on the back for being right only you getting clean then dry and in clean night clothes will make my day." Patrick cajoled.

Teresa seeing no way out allowed Patrick to turn on the shower to the right temperature then he retrieved and undressed her. He stood next to her as he helped to wash herself. Once over he wrapped her in a thick dry towel then ushered back to her bed. She was totally exhausted. After taking her foul medicine she went right to sleep.

**- oooo -**

In the next morning Jane awoke first and noticed Teresa was still asleep. He got up and did some more errands while she slept. Soon she awoke with Patrick at her side.

-" Well how are you feeling?" Patrick asked.

-" Better…Thanks for helping me Patrick I'm so sorry I was being difficult last night." Teresa said.

-" That is ok…So are you strong enough to go downstairs?" Patrick asked with his eyes dancing.

-" Yeah I think so." Teresa said.

Patrick picked out a few clothes then helped Teresa to put them on. He carefully guided her to the front room. Where her breakfast awaited and a stack of photo albums sat on the coffee table.

-" You have been busy." Teresa said. "I have not seen these pictures in a long time."

She busily ate then took her medicine. Afterwards Jane cleared away the remnants of Late breakfast and turned her attention to the photo albums.

-" I've never seen them ever will you show them to me?" Patrick asked sitting next to her on the couch.

Teresa smiled and with Patrick's help he lifted the heavy book to her lap. Soon she was laughing as she related the reason for certain pictures. It felt good to laugh she thought. Patrick was enjoying himself too.

Much laughter was heard from the living room of Teresa Lisbon's apartment. It was something that had not happened for long time. Patrick had one arm around her shoulders pointing at the pictures. He was making some outrageous comments on each photo. This made her laugh so much so that she had tears in her eyes.

Turning the pages of the album, Jane found a photo that peaked his curiosity. On the picture you could see three little boys dressed in suits with ties. This had to be her brothers and her parents. All of them were together smiling wide showing all their teeth along with single a pair of hands at the top of the picture. Patrick was intrigued that Teresa was not in the picture with her family though those looked suspiciously like her hands.

-" Where were you when the picture was taken?" he asked.

-" It's a long story. You want me to continue?" she asked trying to evade.

-" Oh no," he protested, "I want to know the whole story."

-" Okay, but please do not laugh" she admonished.

-" I promise." Patrick said.

-" Well…It was a Sunday and we were invited by friends of my father to have a get together at one of his friend's house. I must have been twelve years old as the time. It was shortly before the death of my mother" she began to explain while a veil of sadness passed over her eyes.

-" Teresa, if you are not feeling up to telling this story, we could discuss something else." Patrick said being acutely aware of the sadness invading her being.

-" No, Patrick it's okay, it's a good memory." She reassured.

-" As you wish…Please Go on." He replied.

-" We were at one of my father's friend house. He had invited us. In the yard they had a large garden. There was a large tree place in the middle of the garden. This was the place a table was placed underneath it. My father wanted us to be well dressed for another one of his friend that he had not seen for a long time. There were many people that day as they all were childhood friends of his. My father had forced me to wear a dress and I hated it." She started the tale.

There was a smirk on Patrick's face he could see a young defiant Lisbon angry at her folks for making her wear a dress. He could surmise what was going to happen next. She continued.

-" I had gone to play with the other children, especially boys. That was when my father's friend finally arrived and he wanted to meet us. My father was proud to introduce his children to his childhood friend. My brothers were quietly seated at the table as my father had requested. I on the other hand was not." She added.

-" So what happened next?" Patrick asked anticipating her reply.

-" Everyone was seated at the table beneath the tree. My father called me, I immediately responded. He lifted his head to see me hanging upside down from the branch above the table." Teresa said with a laugh.

-" In a dress…?" wondered Jane.

-" I took the clothespins to hold my dress in place as I swung upside down" she explained. "My father still wanted to take the picture. So the picture was taken and the only thing you can see of me was my hands."

Jane laughed despite his promise not to make fun of her. She laughed along with him. It was the last good memories she had of her family before the tragedy. It was a wonderful memory. They did not linger too much on it.

Turning the page another picture had caught Patrick's attention. They laughed together much of the afternoon. They spent a pleasant time together and did not see the time pass. Finally, it was time for her medication. Leaving her downstairs he came upstairs to retrieve it. He brought her the small plate with all the tablets and a glass of water which she accepted with gratitude. She was still a little embarrassed that he cared so much. It was so nice to have someone like him being with her so that she would not to be all alone though.

The Mentalist prepared their drinks. He brought a surprise for her. It was not her customary coffee but tea instead. She looked at him then rolled her eyes. Jane ignored her antics as he poured the hot water over the tea bags.

-" It is not good to drink so much coffee Teresa. Tea is very good as a substitute." He said.

-" Patrick, I don't like tea" she grumbled though still drinking the cup lovingly prepared.

-" I can see that" he laughed.

They spent the rest of the day on the couch watching old movies. It was getting late Patrick mentioned it.

-" Teresa as enjoyable this day has been it is time to place you in your bed." He said.

She just murmured something. He smiled as he carried her upstairs. He got her night medicine ready then stripped her of the day clothes then dressed her warmly in her pj's. Tucked in he was about to leave to prepare their dinner.

She stopped him by grabbing his arm. He turned toward her with a silent question on his lips. He moved closer to her then she wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him. Since, Patrick had come a few days ago she indulged in things she would not have dared to do in the past. Her life would soon end though she thought. So she wanted to enjoy every moment with him as much as possible.

Patrick leaned down then gently kissed her on the cheek. He chuckled to see that she had blushed once again and then left the room. He went down to the kitchen then began to prepare the evening meal. There was not much in the cupboards. Grace had done some shopping earlier so he found exactly what he needed. He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he did not hear her approached him from behind. She put her hands over his eyes and he jumped, making her laugh out loud.

-" What are you doing out of bed? You know it's dangerous to scare a man of my age" he said being falsely outraged and with one hand on his heart.

-" I felt better so I decided I did not want to wait for you upstairs." Teresa giggled.

-" So you decided to come down here and scare me?" Patrick retorted.

-" Well… It was funny!" Teresa said giggling.

-" Well…Now, that you mention it. It was wasn't it?" Patrick smiled.

-" Besides, you're not so old Patrick," she smiled, "I don't even see any white hair."

-" Is that because you took the time to look at my hair?" he playfully asked.

-" What…? No, I ..." She stuttered.

Jane laughed and so did she. She leaned toward the pans to see what he was cooking. If the taste was as good as the smell she would be pleased. Patrick pushed her head away as he plunged a wooden spoon into the sauce then presented it to her. Lisbon looked at him with wide eyes then she opened her mouth and tasted it. It was as good as it smelled. He really was a good cook.

They heard a knock at the door.

-" Were you expecting anyone, Teresa?" Patrick asked.

-" No I did tell Grace to inform the others about my upcoming hospitalization" Teresa said. "I was not expecting anyone."

-" Well they are getting insistent. So, I must go let them in. Can I trust you not to hurt yourself while I'm gone?" Patrick teased.

Teresa swatted at him as he left the room. She sat down at the table it was too hard to continue standing.

Patrick opened the door to see Grace, Wayne and Kimball looking back at him.

-" Hi Guys…What brings you over…?" Patrick asked.

-" Well, Dinner of course..." Grace said pushing past him.

-" Honey we have company" Patrick said in his Ricky Ricardo voice.

-" Hey what is this?" Lisbon asked as she entered the front room.

-" Boss…Grace informed us and we are here to lend support." Wayne said.

-" What better way to show that support than to have Dinner together." Kimball said showing he brought the bread.

Grace looked like she was the person responsible.

-" Well if it is Dinner I must get back to it. I'm so glad I made enough!" Jane quipped.

-" Here let me help you" Grace said.

They exited the room together and once in the kitchen she turned to him.

-" So did you find all the ingredients?" Grace asked.

-" Yes I did. It was sneaky of you to buy the groceries then invite yourself to Dinner!" Jane said. "I like the way you think!"

Soon with Grace's help they presented Dinner. It was a raucous affair.

Teresa could not help to be impressed with all the love and support of her friends. Though, they had to be mighty sneaky to get it past her without her objecting she was glad just the same.

* * *

**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: please, let me know if you liked this chapter. I hope you will not hesitate to leave me a review. And if you want, I also have a Christmas story. I know it's a bit early but it has 8 long chapters and it will take some time to translate it.**

**Until next chapter.**

_Sweety_


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N****: here's chapter 6. It's a bit short but I will update a new one very soon. A big thanks to my beta phnxgrl.**

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 6**

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Lisbon and her team were all sitting around the table. She was listening to one of Jane's joke, smiling like the others. He really knew how to make every one comfortable, in every circumstance.

She took the time to look at them, one by one. Grace and Wayne were sitting side by side, Wayne's hand on Grace's laps. Cho was on Wayne other side, stoic as usual. He was very attentive, but from time to time, she could see a little smile on his lips.

She felt Jane's hand taking her own and she smiled. She closed her fingers around his hand then looked up at him. She so wanted to kiss him right now, but would not. They were not at that stage yet. She did not want to scare him. Sometime during those few days they have been together, she thought she had saw something in his eyes. She would not dare name it. She could only hope.

-"Are you okay?" Jane asked her while stroking her cheek tenderly.

-"Yeah, I'm fine" she reassured him. "I am more than fine."

-" Please Teresa tell me if you need something" he said with a small smile.

-"Yes Patrick I will" she said smiling back.

Lisbon turned her eyes toward Grace who was smiling. She sent her a knowing look and Lisbon blushed. She knew exactly what her friend was thinking and she was right. Lisbon did not regret having told Jane about her illness. Nor did she regret telling her colleagues. Her only regret was waiting this long to do it.

They talked for a while, about their families, their friends and how was work in her absence. They were all wondering when she would come back. Nobody had planned for her not come back. It was just a given no matter what the doctors said or what she thought. For them she would survive the disease then return to the office to lead the team as she did for years. They ended up leaving nearly three hours later.

Lisbon wanted to go to her room to lie down for a moment to rest. He had forbidden her to do anything. He said she needed to take more care of herself. He would handle everything. And against all odds, she did not protest. She went directly to her room without saying anything with Patrick's assistance.

Since even with the great dinner and guests she was exhausted. She sat on her bed as Patrick got her ready for bed and gave her that awful tasting medicine. Once he saw she was all situated he bid her adieu then went downstairs to continue the clean up. Teresa comfortable decided instead of sleeping, she took her diary and began to write. She had many things to say. She wanted to write how her friends were so kind to her.

She wanted to write about them but instead her pages were filled about Patrick. She wrote about the time spent relaxing looking at pictures and talking about her childhood memories. She loved this time with the Mentalist. She craved the closeness that had developed between them. Patrick was not the same man since he knew about her illness. He seemed different, as if he lived not only for himself but for her too.

She was happy to know that the man for whom her heart was beating so much cared for her. It made her sad as well. They were too close to each other. She still feared what he would befall him after her death. She had asked Tommy if he could be there for him. She also knew her colleagues would be there to support him.

She knew it would be difficult. It already was for her when she knew she was the one who was going to disappear from their lives. She believed how he would suffer that was the reason why she had not wanted to tell him the truth. She wanted to keep him from feeling the pain of her passing. She still did not realize he would be feeling the pain whether she was close to him or not. She could only see her side to his pain. Not the joy she brought to him.

When she put down the book on the nightstand, she saw a head appear in the doorway. It was a blonde head with beautiful blue eyes and she blushed under his gaze.

- "Everything is okay Teresa?" He asked as he entered the room and settled on the bed with her.

She looked a bit sheepish.

- "You were supposed to be asleep not writing" he scolded gently.

- "I don't want to sleep Patrick" she said "I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I would be in the hospital, so I want to use that time for something else."

- "What is more important than you getting better?" He asked.

- "I want to talk and make sure you are well" explained Lisbon sitting up on the bed. "I want you to know that you can talk to me."

He turned to the side trying to avoid her piercing gaze. He knew what she meant. He did not want to get into this subject now. It was way too sensitive. These few days alone with her had awakened feelings that he thought he had forgotten. These strong feelings scared him. What must he think of all of this? The great Patrick Jane did not know what to do. He so wanted for things to be easy. Yet they were not and never would be again.

He felt her hand on his forearm. He refused to turn his head or meet her eyes. Yet, he felt as if he had to obey this unseen command. He did not want her to know how all of this affected him. He could not deny her any longer as he felt her trembling beside him. He turned his head then gazed into her beautiful emeralds eyes glistening with unshed tears. He no longer could resist the urge to take her in his arms. He did so and pulled her tight against him. She leaned against his chest while clutching his shirt as if her life depended on it.

- "Hush Teresa, I'm here," he whispered while he ran a hand down her back. "Please, don't cry, I don't like to see you cry."

- "I'm sorry Patrick" she sniffed. "I don't even know why I'm crying? I usually never cry."

- "I know" He said as he held her tight until he felt her totally relax.

She finally falls asleep against him as he helped her lie on the bed. He tucked her in and he lay beside her. He just looked at her sleeping as he had done for the last few days. He never got tired of doing this. He loved gazing at her beauty. He wanted to enjoy every moment. He did not know for how long he could do it. He ran his hand through her hair. He felt a twinge in his heart seeing her hair fall out.

He could tell that she was sure that she would not survive the cancer. He thought differently. He had to think she would be okay. It could not be otherwise. He could not lose some one else. He would not survive the loss of another woman he loved. Yes, he loved Lisbon. It had taken him some time to realize that he loved her. Since, he had learned about her illness. He had realized that he could not live without her after spending this time together.

He stared down at the woman on the bed. She was beautiful. Even sick she was beautiful with her long black hair, slightly curly and emerald eyes. He wanted to kiss her lips but he would not. So instead he leaned down he kissed her forehead. She moaned and he smiled. He lay back down then went to sleep.

**-oooo-**

In the morning Teresa awoke early. He gazed at the man sleeping peacefully beside her. She needed to have this chat. She wanted to have it last night but her body betrayed her and she had passed out.

- "Patrick…?" She called nudging the Mentalist.

Patrick opened his eyes and a smile graced his face.

- "Teresa you are up? How are you feeling?" He asked getting ready to get up.

- "I'm doing well today…That is not what I want to talk to you about though." She said.

Patrick yawned then spoke.

- "Ok Teresa what do you want to discuss?" He asked.

- "You Patrick I want to discuss you and me." She softly said.

- "What about us, Teresa" he asked.

Teresa faltered for a moment wanting to find the exact words which she needed for him to understand.

- "I'm going to die" She started.

- "Yes, everything dies" He agreed.

- "I just did not want it to be this hard. I wanted to spare you this pain." She said.

- "Yes, I know. Teresa what you do not know is when you pass if you do I would be hurt anyway with or without you telling me. However, these past few days have been a blessing. I am no longer worried about what you were keeping from me. I have the joy in helping you though you seem a bit embarrassed the other day in the shower." Patrick said with a leer.

Teresa bowed her head as she blushed. Patrick continued.

- "Teresa I do not know how to say this but these past few days have been an eye opener for me." He said.

- "How so…?" She asked wondering what he was going to say.

He sat then became silent as if he was warring inside himself. She became concerned then gently touched his arm then gazed into his bluer than blue eyes. He must have decided something because he began to speak again.

- "Teresa, over these past few days I was able to see the real you. Not Agent Lisbon though I like her very much but you Teresa the woman that I love." Patrick confessed. "Yes it took me by surprise too. I certainly was not looking for it. During these days I saw the strength and beauty you always possessed. I saw the grace you have in facing this horrible disease. I saw your empathy on trying to make others more comfortable when you were not. I saw your spirit on trying to relive the pain others were suffering. Though, it was misguided on my part. I love you Teresa for all these reason and many more."

- "Patrick I do not know what to say other than I love you too!" She said as their lips came crashing together.

She felt the thrill of knowing that her love was reciprocated. They stayed that way until they needed to breathe. She pulled away and rested her head against his forehead. They have begun their life together.

* * *

**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: let me know if you like it or not. **

_Sweety_


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N****: hi guys. I told you I would update soon. And here we go. I would like to thank **_Guest, ArieaLeighaGrace, julietousimplement, Marcia santos_** and **_SummerFlowerJul_** for the reviews. I hope you'll like this new chapter.**

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_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 7**

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Today was the last day Lisbon could stay at home. She did not want to do anything other than enjoy her last few hours with Patrick. She had woken up early, had the talk with him when he awoke. Then she went back to sleep. Patrick got up and made sure everything was done before he had come back to nap with her. When she woke up again later, she refused to get up. She gazed at the blond man who was still sleeping. Earlier she had fallen asleep with her head on his chest.

She was now awake. She knew that soon she would get up to eat something. However, that meant she needed to awaken him too. She was loathed to do that since she knew he never slept much. She did not want to deprive him of the rest he so much needed. It felt so good that she did not feel sick. Patrick was the reason of that. He was very different from all the men she had been with in her short life.

She gazed at his beautiful face then his blue eyes opened. She smiled at him before she kissed him. He closed his eyes to savor the sweetness of her skin against his. She felt his hands come to rest on her back. That squeezed her even more closely against him. Her arms encircled his neck. A small moan escaped the woman's lips and he smiled. She tangled her hands in his hair, sliding her fingers through his blond curls as he ran a hand on her back making the woman shivered before pulling away from him.

- "Is something wrong?" He asked immediately.

- "Everything," she replied, avoiding his gaze.

- "Please Teresa…Explain yourself because I do not understand," he said in a bemused state.

- "Everything is wrong Patrick" she said, "Please look at me. I am losing my hair. So, tell me, what if anything could possibly be considered good in that? "

- "Today you are alive, Teresa" he lifted up and sat beside her. "You're alive and I'm here with you, I would not ever leave you. That is something I would consider good."

- "But I'm going to die Patrick, I'm going to die and none of us can do anything to prevent that from being in my future." she turned to face him with tears threatening to flow. "I'm afraid to die and leave you Patrick. I do not want to leave knowing you are alone."

- "Teresa…Look at me…The future is not written yet. You still have a chance with new treatment. However, you need to stay focused on the here and now." Patrick said with such authority.

Teresa burst in to tears and clung to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her in a comforting motion.

- "Remember what I taught you when going to the doctor's office?" Patrick asked softly.

Teresa's sobs subsides and she replied.

- "You said I need to keep a positive mental image." She quoted. "Patrick how can I when I can feel my time is ending?"

Patrick was about to reply when her breathing became labored. He looked down to see her trying to find her breath with her face red. She had her eyes closed with the tears continuing to flow wetting her face. The Mentalist placed a hand on her back and the other hand on her chest.

- "Teresa, what's wrong?" He worried. "Tell me where it hurts."

- "Can not ... breathe ..." she whispered. "Pa ... Patrick, help ..."

She then collapsed against the bed. Patrick knew what to do to help her. So he propped her up then held her against him with one hand stroking her hair. He began to whisper soothing words of comfort. They were always in the same gentle tone. He used hypnosis on her although he knew she did not like it. He had no choice. He saw no alternative and he knew it would work. She was just having a panic attack. His remedy did succeed. She gradually regained normal breathing and the color returned to her cheeks as she calmed down.

Once he was sure that everything was again fine. He helped her get back into bed. He covered her carefully before he kissed her on the forehead. He knew it was time for her to take her medication. He moved to prepare various tablets on the small plate as he did every day. Teresa calmed now smiled while watching him. He was so attentive and nice to her. She again was raised up and propped against the headboard. She took everything he handed to her. He was about to leave the room when she called him.

- "I'm sorry Patrick," she whispered. "I did not want to be so mean to you."

- "I know Teresa and you were not" he reassured her. "I know it's hard for you and you are afraid."

- "Where are you going…?" She asked.

- "I'll go downstairs to prepare coffee and tidy up for the arrival of Tommy" He explained.

- "Tommy…? Why is he coming?" Teresa asked.

- "I called him and asked him to come," he explained. "I know that you wanted to see him as you are close to him. Don't worry Teresa I'll take care of everything."

He finally left the room. While he was waiting for the water to boil, Jane leaned against the kitchen counter. He thought about what Lisbon had told him. She was afraid to die. He would never have imagined that one day Lisbon would admit being afraid of something. He also was afraid. He did not want her to leave him forever.

He was used to see her in the morning while bring her coffee she would grace him with a smile. He loved this woman. Oh yes he loved her, even more than he thought it possible. Now he might lose her. He did not want that to happen. He did not want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him for the rest of his life. He wanted to wake up every morning with the woman in his arm, her head on his chest and his arms around her waist. He wanted to see her beautiful eyes and a smile on her lips. He wanted to live again. He wanted to love and be loved. But the doctors were clear and unless there was a miracle, she would not survive.

The water began to boil behind him and he turned to finish their morning drinks. He was about to go upstairs when someone rang the doorbell. He placed the tray on the kitchen counter then went to open the door. He found himself face to face with one surprised Tommy.

- "Hello Tommy, I'm glad to see you" smiled Jane. "…Is not Annie with you?"

- "She'll be here in a minute" replied the younger Lisbon. "She did not want to stay with her mother as I suggested. She prefers to spend time with her Aunt."

- "I can understand that feeling. Do you want some coffee?" Patrick asked.

- "Certainly..." He said.

The two men went to the kitchen as Patrick served a cup of coffee while Tommy was still staring curiously at him. The Mentalist knew he wanted to know why he was there. When he had called him to ask him to come over? He had not told him that he was living with his Sister. He would explain everything to him, later. But for the moment he just wanted to welcome Tommy and his daughter before returning to Teresa, as soon as possible. He liked the Lisbon family. They all wanted to spend as much time as possible with the woman left weak in the bed upstairs.

He saw Annie come into the kitchen and sat next to her father. She carefully observed the Mentalist prepare breakfast as if he lived here. He seemed to know the location of each thing. Patrick knew exactly how to make Tommy his coffee. Annie was glad to see him. The last time they had seen each other. He had taught her a few tricks. She always liked the Consultant. He was kind and attentive to the needs of her favorite Aunt. He always knew when she wanted her coffee or just when she wanted to be alone. This man was the only one who can make her Aunt smile. It was a genuine smile and not the one she offered to the others.

The girl was sad to learn of her Aunt's illness. She was devastated. She did not know if she could ever recover from the loss of her Father's only Sister. Teresa Lisbon was her role model. She was the opposite of her mother who was almost non-existent in her life. Teresa Lisbon was a strong and independent woman. She was a woman like Annie dreamed of becoming. She wanted to be like her Aunt. Of course her Aunt did not want this life for her. She was smart enough to only give voice to her displeasure but would not interfere in her choices.

The girl had wanted her Aunt and Consultant to be together. In the short time she had seen them working, she had seem them acted like a married couple. So she wondered…Why were they waiting? Now it seemed that dream was too late. Her Aunt was dying. With this simple thought the tears began to roll down her cheeks. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she raised her head to meet Patrick's compassionate eyes. He took her in his arms while her father rubbed her back.

- "It's okay Annie" Patrick said in a soft voice.

- "Not exactly…" she sobbed, "…Nor will it ever be again. Aunt Reese is going to die."

- "I know Annie…That is a possibility. You must try not cry in front of her. You need to be strong for her." Patrick said.

- "But how can I be strong? Patrick I don't know how." Annie said beginning to cry again.

- "You are already strong Annie," Jane told her. "You are like your Aunt, a strong young woman."

- "…But what if I say something wrong and make her sad?" Annie asked with glistening eyes.

- "You will not" he reassured her. "You'll know exactly what to say when

you'll see her. I trust you."

- "You really trust me?" The girl asked as if she was surprised in Patrick's trust.

- "Yes Annie I really do" he said smiling.

- "I'm not dead yet. So, don't put me in the ground too soon." They heard a voice they all knew coming from the stairs.

The three of them turned their heads to see Lisbon walking slowly down the steps, one by one. Patrick released Annie immediately then rushed to Teresa's side to help. He guided her to the couch where she sat down. Being comfortable he left and returned with a cup of coffee. She took from him with a grateful smile. Teresa beckoned her Niece to come to her. Annie sat next to her Aunt who wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her hard against her body.

- "I know you're scared Annie and I'd be lying if I told you I'm not afraid too" she began. "I am afraid, terribly afraid, but I know I'm not alone. I have my family and my friends with me to support me."

- "And you can always count on us" assured the girl.

- "I know and I trust you, but I also have a big favor to ask you and your father." Teresa said.

- "What do you want me to do?" asked the girl.

- "I need you and your father to take care of Patrick when I'm not here" She replied. "Would you do that for me?"

- "What do you mean Aunt Reese?" Annie asked showing she did not understand what she required.

- "You know that Patrick has not had an easy life "Annie turned to look at Jane before turning once again toward her Aunt. "He is my best friend and more. But when I'm gone he will be alone. I need you to be there for him so he would not be all alone. So would you do that for me? Be Patrick's special friend?"

- "I do not need that Teresa" Patrick huffed. "I won't be alone. I'll have Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt to be there for me. You don't have to ask your Brother and Niece to look after me."

Annie was confused.

- "Annie, don't listen to him. Just think about what I asked ok?" Teresa said hugging her Niece.

The girl thought about her Aunt's request then vigorously nodded her head.

- "That is a good girl!" Teresa said giving her another hug then letting her go to her Father.

Patrick seeing an opening sat down next to her then spoke.

- "I understand Teresa what you want to do for me" Jane said. "…And I thank you for that. But your Brother has his life and so does his Daughter. They do not need to be burdened with me."

Tommy listening to the exchange between the Mentalist and his Sister realized there was something different about them. They were together! He had to smile on that realization. Before he knew it he was speaking.

- "Teresa don't worry I will do it. He is practically part of family after all." Tommy said.

Teresa blushed on how her Brother had figured out the change in their relationship.

Patrick and Teresa turned toward Tommy who kneeled on the floor in front of his Sister. He took one of her hands in his and smiled.

- "I will do it. He reiterated. "If I understand correctly you and him are together then he is part of the family."

Patrick and Teresa nodded as Tommy correctly guessed their change.

Tommy took his sister in his arms and squeezed her against him. She returned his embrace being so glad to have him here. She would have to thank Patrick later. Tommy extended his arm and took his Daughter against him as well.

Patrick stood up. He stared at them for a moment before walking to the door. They needed time together. He decided to go outside for a moment. Maybe he'd go buy something for her breakfast. He also needed time to think. He had stayed with her for the last week. Even though he liked being with her. Sometime he needed time alone this was one of those times. Usually he did it while Teresa was asleep but she had her family. She would not miss him too much if he slipped out now.

**- oooo -**

When Jane came back half an hour later, Tommy walked over to him fast. He pushed him against the wall, hard.

-" Where were you?" He asked angrily.

-" What? I went to the shop," Jane said showing the grocery bag in his hand. "Why? Did something happen? Is Teresa okay?"

- "She is crying in her bedroom" Tommy answered him. "She thought you had left her."

- "And why would I do that? I love her! I told her I would never leave her." Patrick retorted.

Tommy released him then passed a hand across his face.

- "So let me get this straight you did not leave her?" He asked utterly confused.

- "I would never do that and she knows it." Patrick said straightening up his attire.

- "She is emotionally disturbed at the moment because of her treatment. I think she misunderstood your absence." Tommy said slowly.

- "Please Tommy get out of the way I need to see her." Patrick said bullying past her Brother.

Tommy watched as he ran up the stairs. He too had misunderstood his absence. He loved his sister. She was like a Mother to him. She had been so since the death of their Mother. He did not want to lose her either. Though, he did not know what he would do if she did die.

Tommy followed after Patrick who was already up the stairs. He thought of the story of Patrick Jane. He knew that the man had lost his wife and daughter. They were killed by Red John so many years ago. Teresa had been by his side since he joined the CBI. He knew that his Sister cared deeply for him. And after only a few minutes with the man, he understood why.

Tommy caught to the Mentalist as he was about to open the door. He placed his hand on Jane's shoulder as a sign of solidarity. Jane turned his head then smiled. He was grateful for the support. He entered to the room. He heard sobs and his heart sank in his chest seeing Teresa trying to be comforted by her Niece.

- "He'll be back Aunt Reese" he heard Annie say to her Aunt.

- "Yes I am back!" Patrick said striding across the room.

- "He hates me and I can understand it," Teresa replied. "He hates me because I asked you to look after him."

- "No Teresa that is not it at all" he said gathering her into his arms. "I just wanted you to have time alone with your family. I went to the store for your breakfast. I will never ever leave you."

- "See he does not hates you" said Annie.

- "Oh Patrick…!" She said crying even harder on his shirt. "You must think me a terrible person thinking the worst of you."

- "Not at all…Teresa, I should have not slipped out without telling you. I'm so sorry about that. Have we not had this discussion before?" Patrick asked gazing into her glistening emerald eyes.

Teresa laughed as Patrick reminded her of the last time when he went to the store.

- "See I returned then and I have returned now. Remember Teresa I love you and nothing you can do will ever make me stop. Nor will it keep me from your side long. Though, I do need to go to store. Will I be facing this every time I'm gone?" Patrick asked with a smile on his face.

- "I hope not…Though in my fragile state I can not swear to it." Teresa said.

Patrick laughed

- "Fair enough…Though, you owe your Brother and Niece an apology." Patrick said hugging her again.

- "Tommy Annie I'm so sorry I'm such a mess. This disease has me scared. More than anything in the world…Well maybe not that far but I'm plenty scared." She said.

- "Teresa you do not need to apologize. I did not know the true state between you and Patrick." Tommy said with his eyes down casted.

- "Tommy you didn't…" Teresa gasped "You did! Oh I'm so sorry Patrick."

- "Yeah I roughed him up a bit…Though it was the wrong reason. I'm very protective of you Reese." Tommy said.

Annie watched the going on among the adults.

Patrick gave Teresa a most passionate kiss and then he placed her back in the bed. Once he was satisfied she was going to stay there he announced.

- "Who wants Breakfast?" Patrick said with his charm.

Both Tommy and Annie were happy the crisis was over. They followed Patrick downstairs. He created a big breakfast. They all ate then Patrick took Teresa hers.

They all returned to her room. Teresa awoke as Patrick brought the tray up to her.

Teresa looked around at all the smiling faces.

-" You should go…" she whispered. "…Tommy and Annie I'm so happy you came by…"

They left while Patrick escorted them out. Once out of the room Tommy and Annie stood in the arms of each other with a smile on their faces. Teresa may die. They smiled because she was finally experiencing something she would enjoy. For the first time in her life, she would finally know what it was like to be loved by a man. Tommy went down the stairs with his daughter escorted by Patrick. He was happy for his Sister. He had never wanted anything else for her than to be happy and she finally had that chance. The next day was going to be difficult and he knew it.

Teresa would go to the hospital, but she would not be alone. She would have her family with her along with the man she loved. And maybe with luck, the disease would disappear from her life. He prayed with all his heart for a miracle. His Sister deserved to have the life she had always dreamed.

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**TBC...**

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**A/N2****: let me know if you liked this chapter or not. As I am French, all the reviews I got meant a lot to me. And I wanted to tell all of the people who follow my story that they can also leave a review sometime.**

**Until next chapter.**

_Sweety_


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N****: here's chapter 8. I hope you will like it. Thank for all the reviews.**

_When the Shadow crept over Lisbon__'__s life, Jane tried to bring back the Sunshine in it. Will he be able to help her through the darkest time of her life? _

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**Chapter 8**

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Patrick was surprised to hear a knock on the door.

- "Just a moment" He yelled while he was leaving the kitchen.

Tommy was standing at the door along with Annie.

- "What is wrong?" Patrick asked.

- "It seems like Dad forgot to turn off the lights the car will not start." Annie said pushing her way into the room.

- "Annie don't get me started again I said I was sorry!" Tommy morosely

said. "…Hi Patrick."

- "Oh I see well it is too late to get a mechanic out. Why don't you two stay the night?" Patrick said after closing the door.

- "You think Teresa will not mind?" Tommy asked.

- "She fell back asleep as soon as we left the room I'm not going to wake her to ask." Patrick said. "…I'm sure it would be ok though."

- "Thanks Patrick I'll go get Annie settled in the spare room. I'll take the couch." Tommy said.

- "As you wish I was just cleaning up. As you know tomorrow is going to be a big day." Patrick said.

Patrick got out the spare linen and got couch ready. Then he bid Tommy adieu.

After Patrick left Tommy placed his daughter in the guest room. Patrick had arrived in the room to find Teresa awake and crying. She was inconsolable. Tommy heard then went downstairs. He was sad to hear his Sister's sobbing. Getting downstairs he looked at the couch all waiting for him. He decided that he did not want to sleep at the moment. He had too much on his mind. There were too many memories which kept him from sleeping. He kept reviewing his Sister's years before she entered the CBI. It was when she was still a young woman eager for discoveries.

He still remembered the nights when she came home then told stories to him and his little brother. He loved those moments spent with her and their two brothers. He wanted so much for this time to last forever. However things had changed since his sister joined the CBI. His two brothers have left without giving them any news and he had a daughter. Annie was perhaps an accident. Though, she was the only measure of his success and he would do anything for her.

He heard footsteps on the stairs as Patrick returned. Tommy at first had not liked the Mentalist. He was the one who made his Sister's life impossible. He made her shoulder all the blame. Yet, throughout the years, she had kept him with her team. She had also continued to protect him and she was still doing it today. She was slowly dying but yet she kept thinking about him.

Tommy knew that the treatment she was taking would not save her. Instead it weakened her. He knew she would not stop. He knew she wanted to make sure Patrick would be fine after her death along with her family. This woman was amazing and he was proud to be her Brother.

The younger Lisbon turned and faced the Mentalist whose eyes still shone with tears. Tommy was amazed that two hours had passed since last seeing the Blonde hair man. Patrick had spent more than two hours with Teresa, to console her, to make her understand the two of them was possible, despite the disease and the death threat over her head. Tommy had heard them without really listening. He was too lost in his own thoughts to really pay attention. The Mentalist moved into the kitchen then sat down with his hands holding his face. Tommy then took a seat next to him with his cup of coffee in hand.

- "Coffee?" he proposed at the blonde man. "Oh, I almost forgot, you only drink tea. I'll prepare it."

Patrick looking up into the younger man's face spoke.

- "Let me do it" Patrick said rising and placing a comforting hand on his arm.

- "Yeah, I think its better that you do that yourself" Tommy laughed. "Reese told me that you were quite particular about your tea."

- "I'm just a perfectionist" Jane said. "I can assure you that Teresa knows how to prepare my tea."

- "You know, since, we will see each other often. Would we possibly use our first name?" he asked.

Tommy's proposal did not fall in deaf ears.

- "I think that since I am now with your Sister. It would indeed be a good idea Tommy or would you prefer Thomas?" agreed Jane.

- "Please Tommy…Thomas makes me feel so old. So How is Reese?" Tommy asked. "The reason I ask is that I heard you two upstairs when I put Annie in the spare room."

- "Were we that loud?" inquired the Mentalist.

- "Well I could hear you because I passed by the closed door but I doubt Annie could." Tommy admitted.

- "Oh I see well…" he said taking a deep breath. "She's sleeping right now"

- "You are a good friend and take very good care of her that I can see." Tommy commented.

- "Thank you Tommy, I want to ensure that everything goes well for her, I don't want her to suffer any more than she already has." Patrick said as his tea was ready and he took a sip.

- "Neither do I. But something is bothering me." Tommy said as Patrick sat down in front of him.

- "What is that, Tommy?" Patrick said trying out younger Lisbon's first name and he found he kind of liked the familiarity.

- "She has not said anything to our other Brothers. They will blame her when they will learn." Tommy said sipping his coffee.

- "You can not say they are really present in her life. So, it is up to Teresa to inform them one way or another, besides I don't think they have anything to say in this matter." Patrick said getting up to prepare another cup.

- "Maybe you are right though they are still our brothers" Tommy said reluctantly. "They still have the right to know and enjoy her before it's too late."

- "If they are informed I fear they will upset Teresa. They would feel sorry for her. She does not like pity that is something you of all people should know." Patrick said with fierce determination.

Tommy was silent for a moment. Maybe Patrick was right. It may not be a good idea to inform them. He knew his Brothers they would do exactly as Patrick said. How could he remain silent? Did he have the right to forbid them to see their own Sister when she was going to die? The young man knew that all Patrick wanted was to protect his Sister. So in the end he decided not to call them. He would leave Teresa to choose whether or not she wanted to inform them. If she did not want them, then he would respect her decision.

Patrick stood up then wandered into the living room Tommy followed. He gazed at the pictures on the front shelf. The pictures were of the Lisbon family at various times. He was amazed by the beauty of Teresa as a child always smiling and so happy. He never did have a chance to see her smile like that.

She was as happy as ever in these photos and he felt his heart sink. She was so beautiful when she smiled with her eyes shining and lips so red. She looked like Snow White with her pale face and dark hair. She was beautiful at the time, as she was today, perhaps even more. Her illness did not detract from her charm. Even though she had less hair and she was thinning. She was still quite beautiful in his eyes.

As he studied them he discovered more pictures of Teresa as a child. There were more than she had showed him in her albums. He had always liked to know more about this woman he loved. What she had done in her life? How she lived when both parents were still alive? Sometimes he envied her. She had known her Mother. He never had that chance.

He knew nothing of the woman who had given birth to him. Nor did he know her name or where she had gone or why. He did know his father. Knowing him Patrick could rationalize why she had left. What he did not understand was why she had not taken him with her? Why had she left him with his father? It was apparent the man had never liked him.

Tonight Patrick decided was not a good time to think about that part of his life. He had better things to do. He had someone to see, who would soon open her eyes and wonder where he had gone. During the week, he had discovered a new side of Teresa Lisbon. He had seen her as he had never thought he would one day. He had with him a loving woman who he did not want to lose. He knew that the disease was already well advanced.

She could die the doctors had been clear on this point. But still, he wanted to believe that she would win. That she would come out alive. It could not be otherwise. He refused to entertain any other possibility. He loved her too much to see her die. He could not bear to lose her too. It was not acceptable. He knew he was wrong to hope. He would suffer even more if she died. He could not go against his heart. He had tried throughout the years when working with her to silence and ignore his feelings. However, today as he was about to lose her, he realized that he could not ignore them any longer.

Patrick returned to the kitchen then placed his cup in the sink. He passed Tommy on his way upstairs to join Teresa. He ignored the curious gaze of the young man. They would talk later. He knew they still had things to say. Now the important thing, the only thing he wanted was to find Teresa, to take her in his arms and sleep with her. He smiled at the thought. He had not had that kind of desire for so long. All this was new to him even though he had a wife before.

He entered the room then quietly closed the door. He walked to the bed where he saw Teresa turned to face him with her eyes still closed. He leaned over her then lay a kiss on her forehead. This simple act awoke her. She opened her eyes then smiled at the sight above her. She reached up to meet with his lips for a tender kiss that escalated quickly. The woman wrapped her arms around his neck and she found herself on her back. She appreciated the weight of Jane on her and she squeezed him even more against her, if it was possible.

Patrick ran his hands along the body of the woman. One of his hands found its way under her T-shirt, coming into contact with the soft skin of her stomach and he felt her tremble beneath his fingers. His lips left those of Teresa to go down her neck, where he applied tender kisses. He felt Lisbon's hands leave his neck and make a way in his back, to find the barrier of his pants. She passed her hands over it and grabbed the belt buckle, the beeping of the alarm stopping them.

- "It's time to take your medication Teresa" Jane said standing up to get the drugs.

- "Always at the wrong time" muttered the woman obviously unhappy.

- "You're tired Teresa, it was not a good idea anyway." Patrick said.

- "Why did you say that…? Why not let me decide what is good idea? Don't you want me?" She sadly said with a lump in her throat.

- "Teresa darling, I can assure you that I want you. Still I don't want you to strain yourself" he reassured her "we have time for that."

- "No, we don't have time." She stated.

- "Teresa ... I know you're scared. You think you're going to die, but I'll say it again, I trust you will survive." Patrick said smiling.

- "What happens if I really do not make it…?" She asked.

- "I refuse to hear you say that Teresa" Patrick said being disturbed by that thought. "I refuse to see you lose hope."

- "But Patrick how could I. Please tell me, how?" She implored.

- "I do not know, but what I know is that I love you too much to see you leave." He admitted.

- "I love you too Patrick So much" she whispered against his lips before kissing him.

The kiss did not last long. It was just enough for them to feel good. It was not the first time they kissed. However, this time it was different. Patrick Jane had done for her more than any one had during her life. He had been there for her when she needed him the most. And more than that, he had made her family come see her. She knew that for him it was a big step. He had always been afraid to be close to people as he did not want to be hurt. The acknowledgment of their feelings added to the healing of their hearts. They parted but remained forehead against forehead with eyes closed.

- "You should take your meds and rest," He said.

- "You're right," She agreed. "You will be coming to bed with me?"

- "Of course I would love that Teresa, but Tommy and Annie are here." Patrick reported.

- "You're right. You can not leave him and Annie alone. Maybe you should clean the guest room for them. That is, if that is what you want." She said.

Patrick smiled he had already done so and Annie was sleeping in the room.

- "I've already done so. Annie is resting now. Tommy is on the couch." Patrick informed.

- "You are such a good man Patrick Jane! Now come lay next to me." She said patting the bed invitingly.

- "I will do so but only for a little while" Patrick said smiling as he settled on the bed after giving her the medicine.

After getting comfortable they fell asleep against each other.

**- oooo -**

They slept through the night. Getting up Patrick went down stairs to greet a groggy Tommy who was preparing his coffee.

- "Good Morning Tommy…How did you sleep?" Patrick asked preparing his tea.

- "I slept fine that couch is plenty comfortable." He said.

- "What about Annie is she still asleep upstairs?" Patrick asked.

- "What Annie sleeps in…? Heavens no! She was up before I was. I sent her out to buy a few things" Tommy said.

- "On her own…?" Patrick asked.

- "She is a big girl, she can take care of herself," Tommy replied. "Beside, if I had asked her to go with her, she would have gotten mad at me, like usual."

Tommy shrugged as he sipped his coffee.

- "So I take it the car is running again?" Patrick asked.

- "It started right up after sitting overnight." Tommy said.

- "That is good I was about to call the emergency service for you." Patrick said.

- "Thanks Patrick but it is not necessary any more." Tommy said.

Jane understood. Annie was not a little girl any more. She was a young woman with a driver's license and everything. She wanted to be more independent. Though, Patrick wondered if he would be so calm if his teen age daughter was out driving the family car. He glanced at the younger Lisbon he was very unconcerned. Patrick decided that Annie had do things by herself. It must not be too easy for her. Teresa was her only model. The only woman who represented the ideals she wanted in her life. Even though, they did not see each other often. She needed some time to herself and he could not blame her.

As the two men were talking they heard the front door opening. They saw Annie coming into the kitchen. She had a bag in her hand. She smiled when she spotted them. She gave her Father a kiss then reluctantly handed over the car keys to his out stretched hand. Patrick smirked when he saw the antics between Father and Daughter. She opened the bag and handed him the contents.

-" I bought this for Aunt Reese" She said. "Do you think she will like it?"

Tommy looked at the scarf.

- "I knew that her hair is falling out and I thought that she could use it. So what do you think?" she explained shyly.

- "Annie you did well. She will love it" Tommy said.

- "That She will" Jane agreed.

Annie went upstairs to the guest room while the two men stayed in the kitchen to prepare breakfast. They knew that Teresa would not eat much, but they still wanted to make her something she would like.

Teresa woke up shortly as Jane returned to her room. He kissed her before helping her to get up. Together, they joined the others in the living room. They all settled on the couch and armchair, watching some old movies. They spent a good time together until it was time to eat. As they suspected, Teresa did not eat much, but she tried her best.

They were all on the couch, enjoying being together. Lisbon was expected at the hospital in the afternoon. Her doctor had gave her some time to herself before spending the next few weeks in a hospital room away from her family.

Teresa sat against Patrick whose arm was around her shoulders and Annie was on the ground against her legs. Tommy had sat on the chair next to them. They all took full advantage of their few remaining hours together.

- "We'll have to get ready Teresa" Tommy said getting up out the chair..

- "I know I do. I want to stay a little bit longer with you" pouted the woman like a little girl.

- "You'll get another opportunity, Teresa. Do not worry" Jane reassured her. "I'll be with you every moment. Tommy and Annie will come every day."

- "I don't want you to spend all that time in the hospital. You all have things to do." Teresa protested.

- "Nothing is more important that you Aunt Reese" Annie smiled holding a bag out to her.

- "What is this?" Teresa asked. "Is this for me?"

- "Yes I saw it today and I thought of you. Please open it." Annie said with anticipation.

On top there were some papers. Teresa picked them up with a puzzled look.

- "Oh those are the registration forms for the High School nearby when I was going to live with you. But that is not important look in the bag again." Annie explained.

Teresa looked in the bag and withdrew a green silk scarf. It matched the color of her eyes beautifully.

- "Oh Annie it is beautiful. Thank you so much!" Teresa said hugging her niece.

Teresa had to try it on. Patrick just smiled.

- "It is gorgeous on you, Teresa" He said.

- "It is definitely you Reese" Tommy said.

Patrick and Tommy smiled at seeing them in each other's arms. In a visual agreement, they rose then headed for the stairs.

- "Where are you two going?" Teresa asked looking up.

- "I'm off to make your hospital bag" Patrick replied. "Just stay here with Annie."

- "I can do that myself you know." She said with a smile.

-" I know you are able but Teresa I want to do this for you." Patrick replied turning to continue his trek upstairs.

Tommy went to the guest room and Patrick to Teresa's room. He took a bag from the closet then began to sort through what might be needed by the woman and found the items easily. He knew what she liked to wear as he prepared her bag. Then he went into the bathroom to take her toiletry kit before returning to the room. As he was leaving, he remembered seeing Lisbon writing in a book two nights before so he decided to put it in the bag.

She would certainly want to write later he thought. He walked over to the nightstand then opened the drawer where he saw Teresa place it the few nights ago. He looked around then located Teresa's diary. He took it in his hands and was speechless when he saw cover photo. It was a picture of her with him, smiling and happy. He did not even remember when it was taken. He smiled knowing that she had placed it on her diary.

The Mentalist wiped a tear that had slipped down his cheek. He did not place the book in the bag right away. He was curious. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He wanted make that he needed to know what she had written. He slipped the book in his pocket. He knew that she would be annoyed if she knew he had read it. Though he doubted she would hold it against him for long. Maybe he would not read it, he did not really know.

He left the room and went down stairs to join the woman and her niece. They waited a few minutes longer for Tommy to arrive then together they left the apartment.

While Annie and her father climbed into the car, Teresa stood on the doorstep, turned inward and sighed. She looked at the room absorbing the memories she had here. She certainly would never come back in this apartment. She would perhaps die in the hospital. So she wanted to keep the image of this place where she had spent so many years.

Closing her eyes, she could almost see the day she had move in when she just arrived from San Francisco a still young rookie police officer. She could also review every night she stayed on her couch, thinking. Most of the time, it was because of Patrick and one of his mistakes. She also saw the day when he had hypnotized her to help her clear her name of the murder she was accused. She had so many memories here some good and bad too.

Patrick placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned to him and smiled. She closed the door then gave him the key then took his hand in hers.

- "Let's go everyone is waiting" she whispered.

The couple joined Tommy and Annie in the car. Patrick helped Lisbon get in. She was still holding his hand. He watched her for a moment absorbing the image of this remarkable woman. She was sick. It could be seen on her face. But she was still beautiful and he leaned in to steal a kiss which she returned with joy. The car started and they drove to the hospital.

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**TBC…**

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**A/N2****: let me know what you thought of this chapter and I'll update soon.**


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